We all have something that we wish we could change, that we wish we could become. Many people wish for fame or fortune, others success. Some people wish for love, fellowship, a companion. Others wish that they could lose a few pounds or have the cheek bones of their famous idol. For the Doctor, he wishes that we could be ginger.
I'm not sure how many of you are fans of Doctor Who but, to keep it brief, the Doctor can regenerate (i.e. change how he looks) when he's about to die. It's what the Time Lords do however, most Time Lords learned to control what they turned into. The Doctor didn't. End of the day, he has had eleven (soon to be twelve) incarnations, and not one have been his beloved ginger.
Many people thing that, to get what they want, they must change something. This could be to themselves or to other people. Life doesn't work like that. We are who we are. We come as we come. Sure, they'll be people who won't like it, and there will be times when you feel bad about yourself, but changing is running away. Some people have done an awful lot of running, like the Doctor, but that will all catch up on them in the end.
For me, I know that there are people who don't like me. I know that people say bad things about me, people whom I trust and care about, and that hurts, but I'm not changing because a small group of people want me to act in a certain way. And in any case, if I was to change, I'd never end up with what I want to end up with...
...I still won't be ginger!!!
Stay Strong
Michael
Saturday 15 June 2013
Saturday 8 June 2013
Super Saturday (With A Sprinkling Of Stress)
Today has been an extremely busy day for me, and it has had its great ups but also some stress attached. The stress came from the amount of places I needed to be at at different times and making sure that I did have enough time to revise ahead of my exam on Monday morning, which I can't do much of tomorrow as I have lots on tomorrow as well (I know right!!! Such a Rock 'n' Roll lifestyle I lead!)
It started off with a bit of a meeting about a new project that I might be taking up. The idea is to turn the Greek myth of "Pandora's Box" into a musical, preferably for kids. The story really lends itself to a musical and, possibly even into a musical where it is fully musical with no spoken dialogue. It's only an idea at the moment and might not even go ahead, both with me writing the music or the actual story being put into a stage musical.
All this meant that I couldn't go to my band practice, which is an activity that I absolutely love, not only because it's a chance to play but because it's a chance to meet up with people my age and joke around with them. I really do enjoy it so much, even though it's only an hour, and I will deeply miss it when I have to give it up in the summer.
Next, after lunch, came the Durrington Festival, where I sat on my churches stool for three hours and sold books, puzzles and toys and the chance to win sweets on hook-a-duck. At this event, I was also honoured to be given the Peter Bloxham Charitable Award, which is an award given to a person who does things for others without asking for rewards, gives up their own time, is always available and volunteering, and keeps within the community spirit. It was a great surprise to be nominated for such an award, let alone win it. I'm extremely grateful for this yet, I feel slightly guilty as I don't feel I do that much. Therefore, I'm taking this award as a marker and promising myself that I will do more for others as there is always someone less fortunate than I am.
All in all, it's been a very busy day. Exciting, but busy. Tomorrow is going to be just as busy as I am the Organist for a "Songs of Praise" event at my church. I just need a little bit of a break so that I can work on this musical (well, both musicals that I am working on along with the Mass setting that I'm writing) but all of that needs to wait until these pesky exams are over. Only a week or so to go now!!!
I just want to say thank you to all my friends and people who stick by me and support me. I know that I'm not the easiest person to be friends with and can be extremely stubborn with me constantly saying that "I'm not important" and my continuous want to solve other people's problems rather than my own, but I'm alright really. You guys just wait as I know that something amazing is coming around the corner... and that's not just for me but you guys aswell.
Stay Strong
Michael
It started off with a bit of a meeting about a new project that I might be taking up. The idea is to turn the Greek myth of "Pandora's Box" into a musical, preferably for kids. The story really lends itself to a musical and, possibly even into a musical where it is fully musical with no spoken dialogue. It's only an idea at the moment and might not even go ahead, both with me writing the music or the actual story being put into a stage musical.
All this meant that I couldn't go to my band practice, which is an activity that I absolutely love, not only because it's a chance to play but because it's a chance to meet up with people my age and joke around with them. I really do enjoy it so much, even though it's only an hour, and I will deeply miss it when I have to give it up in the summer.
Next, after lunch, came the Durrington Festival, where I sat on my churches stool for three hours and sold books, puzzles and toys and the chance to win sweets on hook-a-duck. At this event, I was also honoured to be given the Peter Bloxham Charitable Award, which is an award given to a person who does things for others without asking for rewards, gives up their own time, is always available and volunteering, and keeps within the community spirit. It was a great surprise to be nominated for such an award, let alone win it. I'm extremely grateful for this yet, I feel slightly guilty as I don't feel I do that much. Therefore, I'm taking this award as a marker and promising myself that I will do more for others as there is always someone less fortunate than I am.
All in all, it's been a very busy day. Exciting, but busy. Tomorrow is going to be just as busy as I am the Organist for a "Songs of Praise" event at my church. I just need a little bit of a break so that I can work on this musical (well, both musicals that I am working on along with the Mass setting that I'm writing) but all of that needs to wait until these pesky exams are over. Only a week or so to go now!!!
I just want to say thank you to all my friends and people who stick by me and support me. I know that I'm not the easiest person to be friends with and can be extremely stubborn with me constantly saying that "I'm not important" and my continuous want to solve other people's problems rather than my own, but I'm alright really. You guys just wait as I know that something amazing is coming around the corner... and that's not just for me but you guys aswell.
Stay Strong
Michael
Wednesday 5 June 2013
Smiles, Songs and Sunshine
What's this??? A blog with a happy title??? Never!!!
The sun is out and that makes everyone feel better, right? Sometimes this great weather can make you feel really bad about yourself. If you're like me then you are indoors because you have to revise for your forthcoming exams. Then there is the thing when people want to have the "ideal body" or the "perfect outfit and/or swimsuit" in order to make them look good. All this stress can make you feel bad.
At no point am I going to turn this blog into some form of fashion review or lifestyle blog. Those aren't areas where I have any interest or knowledge. What I do know about is how to make people happy. Earlier today, whilst on Twitter, I saw a tweet from someone I know but rarely speak to saying that they thought they didn't look good for this weather. Being the sort of person I am, I told them that they were being silly, and then, when she thanked me, used one of my favourite phrases that always makes people smile and feel better:
So, when you feel bad because of exam stress or not being in the right shape for lying in the sun, just think that things will work out.
Michael
The sun is out and that makes everyone feel better, right? Sometimes this great weather can make you feel really bad about yourself. If you're like me then you are indoors because you have to revise for your forthcoming exams. Then there is the thing when people want to have the "ideal body" or the "perfect outfit and/or swimsuit" in order to make them look good. All this stress can make you feel bad.
At no point am I going to turn this blog into some form of fashion review or lifestyle blog. Those aren't areas where I have any interest or knowledge. What I do know about is how to make people happy. Earlier today, whilst on Twitter, I saw a tweet from someone I know but rarely speak to saying that they thought they didn't look good for this weather. Being the sort of person I am, I told them that they were being silly, and then, when she thanked me, used one of my favourite phrases that always makes people smile and feel better:
Hakuna MatataSuch a wonderful phrase it is, and people can't but sing along to the well known song from The Lion King. Many of friends have been subjected to this method of mine, and it seems to work.
So, when you feel bad because of exam stress or not being in the right shape for lying in the sun, just think that things will work out.
It's our problem-free, philosophy. Hakuna MatataStay Strong
Michael
Saturday 1 June 2013
Labels
Throughout life we acquire different 'labels'. Some of these are self-made, others are given to us. These labels can vary from being different names, jobs or a description of ourselves. What I don't think people realise is that, no matter how often you change the label, the person or item in question remains the same.
When I first got my glasses, one kid in my class at high school thought that he should make fun of me. He called me names such as "four eyes", and even went as far to say "he's trying to make himself look clever". He wanted that to effect me, but it didn't. I knew that I needed to wear glasses so that I could read things at a distance. I didn't choose to have glasses one day because I thought that glasses would make me look more clever.
My twitter description of myself is "I once abused a piano... now I'm kind of infamous for it". That's a self-given description of me. There have been times where I've wanted to change my label. In middle school I used to spike my hair up, because that would make me 'cool', and I wore jeans and a denim jacket. People who know me now will realise that I hardly ever wear jeans and I don't own a denim jacket any more.
Yes, it's hard to get rid of certain labels, but the labels don't mean anything. The important thing is the person and that, no matter what you are labelled as, you are still you.
Stay Strong
Michael
"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" - Romeo and Juliet, William ShakespeareNo matter what happens to us throughout our lives, we are still the same person. A person who changes from being a sales assistant to becoming a teacher is still the same person. A table will still function in the same way, even if we call it an oven. Mr. Smith who used to live at number 60 is still Mr. Smith, even though he has moved houses. Basically, the names of things do not matter, only what things "are". The person does not change, and you can't make a person change by giving them a new label.
When I first got my glasses, one kid in my class at high school thought that he should make fun of me. He called me names such as "four eyes", and even went as far to say "he's trying to make himself look clever". He wanted that to effect me, but it didn't. I knew that I needed to wear glasses so that I could read things at a distance. I didn't choose to have glasses one day because I thought that glasses would make me look more clever.
My twitter description of myself is "I once abused a piano... now I'm kind of infamous for it". That's a self-given description of me. There have been times where I've wanted to change my label. In middle school I used to spike my hair up, because that would make me 'cool', and I wore jeans and a denim jacket. People who know me now will realise that I hardly ever wear jeans and I don't own a denim jacket any more.
Yes, it's hard to get rid of certain labels, but the labels don't mean anything. The important thing is the person and that, no matter what you are labelled as, you are still you.
Stay Strong
Michael
Friday 24 May 2013
What I Don't Understand About... Drinking!
Yay!!! Welcome back to this series about things I don't understand. Today we're going to cover drinking as in drinking of alcoholic drinks, not as in the act of drinking because that is a necessity for life.
Now, I am an 18 year old teenager and I don't drink alcohol at all, ever. I don't like the taste. People question me on this but I don't like the taste of mushrooms or coconut and don't eat them yet people don't question me on that. So why is there this obsession with alcohol?
One argument posed is that you can't have fun without alcohol. I beg to differ. You can have plenty of fun with a Sprite and a pack of cards. The alcohol is not necessary. I think many people feel that they can drink their problems away with alcohol but you don't really drink them away, more delay them. You can do the same with a game of dominoes and that is much more healthy for you.
I'm not anti-alcohol. I just don't like the stuff and have seen what it can potentially do to people. I don't like it when people joke about this fact about me because, if you want to joke about this little dislike of mine, then you should also joke about my other dislikes. My dislike towards cake (but not all cake), towards clothes and towards most TV programs. The fact that I don't drink is my own choice and you can't force me to drink for your own entertainment, or else I'll put you in a room full of spiders, get you to eat moldy cheese or make you endure the whole Twilight movie saga.
Alcohol makes me feel ill, even just the smell of it. I don't understand how people at college can go out each night or every other night and drink. It doesn't look attractive. It doesn't smell attractive either and a lot of the stories that I have heard from people I know at college does not make the whole experience sound very appealing. Thank you, but no thanks.
This is a personal choice and I'm not ever going to tell someone to give up on alcohol. I just don't see the logic behind their reasons and I believe that it isn't the be all and end all of having fun and socialising. It's just as easy to socialise over a cup of tea.
As always, you can comment your view on this matter or a view on another topic that you don't understand about.
Stay Strong
Michael
Now, I am an 18 year old teenager and I don't drink alcohol at all, ever. I don't like the taste. People question me on this but I don't like the taste of mushrooms or coconut and don't eat them yet people don't question me on that. So why is there this obsession with alcohol?
One argument posed is that you can't have fun without alcohol. I beg to differ. You can have plenty of fun with a Sprite and a pack of cards. The alcohol is not necessary. I think many people feel that they can drink their problems away with alcohol but you don't really drink them away, more delay them. You can do the same with a game of dominoes and that is much more healthy for you.
I'm not anti-alcohol. I just don't like the stuff and have seen what it can potentially do to people. I don't like it when people joke about this fact about me because, if you want to joke about this little dislike of mine, then you should also joke about my other dislikes. My dislike towards cake (but not all cake), towards clothes and towards most TV programs. The fact that I don't drink is my own choice and you can't force me to drink for your own entertainment, or else I'll put you in a room full of spiders, get you to eat moldy cheese or make you endure the whole Twilight movie saga.
Alcohol makes me feel ill, even just the smell of it. I don't understand how people at college can go out each night or every other night and drink. It doesn't look attractive. It doesn't smell attractive either and a lot of the stories that I have heard from people I know at college does not make the whole experience sound very appealing. Thank you, but no thanks.
This is a personal choice and I'm not ever going to tell someone to give up on alcohol. I just don't see the logic behind their reasons and I believe that it isn't the be all and end all of having fun and socialising. It's just as easy to socialise over a cup of tea.
As always, you can comment your view on this matter or a view on another topic that you don't understand about.
Stay Strong
Michael
Wednesday 22 May 2013
Here's An Idea!!!
What makes an idea good? I'm sure we've all had ideas but rejected them for various reasons. As human beings, we are constantly thinking up new things. Some of us think about things that will effect the whole world, things that might improve the world economy. Others think about ways to beat the newest 'boss' on their video game or think up things that may make their friends happy.
My view is that all ideas have the potential to be good, if given the right encouragement. You can't reject an idea if you haven't tried it out and seen whether it works or whether it fails. If it works then brilliant! If it fails then you can work out why it has failed and improve upon it.
I came across a fantastic message today from and unlikely source: Cheryl Cole's twitter page. The face of this message may look like a stupid celebrity remark, but it actually is so true and... beautiful.
We learn from our mistakes so, let's embrace them and learn from them. You might just change for good. That idea, the one you are thinking about now, is amazing. Trust me. Now, go out and work to make that idea a reality. You'll never know where you'll end up because of it.
Stay Strong
Michael
My view is that all ideas have the potential to be good, if given the right encouragement. You can't reject an idea if you haven't tried it out and seen whether it works or whether it fails. If it works then brilliant! If it fails then you can work out why it has failed and improve upon it.
I came across a fantastic message today from and unlikely source: Cheryl Cole's twitter page. The face of this message may look like a stupid celebrity remark, but it actually is so true and... beautiful.
"I've learned so much from my mistakes. I'm thinking of making some more."
Stay Strong
Michael
Friday 17 May 2013
What Does The Future Hold?
The future is a scary yet exciting thing. I find myself at a point where I need to face the future rather than try to put it off. There are so many decisions that I need to make and it all scares me. I feel pushed and pulled in different directions and I'm not sure what I should be doing.
Thing is, the future will look after itself and the best way to prepare yourself for the future is to surround yourself with great people who love you and will support you no matter what you decide to eventually do with your life. These people should be people that you feel you can openly talk to yet they will be honest with you. I know that I am young so it's better to hear that your friends don't think you are suitable for a certain job now rather than when I'm 50-odd.
To make the future less scary, you should talk about it. Talk about your fears, dreams and ambitions. I am so thankful that I will be meeting up with my best friend in the near future so that I can talk about all these things. I know what I want to say, but I will go into this light hearted chat with an open mind and willing to listen to what they are going to say to me. I shan't go in thinking that I only have one option or my life is worthless because that's a lie and an unhealthy thing to think. I'm sure many people my age have no idea what they are going to end up doing, so I know that I am not alone in this.
Decisions are hard to make. I try and put them off because that delays the future, right? Wrong. The tip is to be honest with yourself and be open. Don't bottle up an idea because you think it's too ambitious or you aren't willing to put the work in to achieving that goal because, if that is the case, then maybe that idea isn't for you.
The future is scary but I'm in it for the long run. Tomorrow's the start of a new beginning.
Stay Strong
Michael
Thing is, the future will look after itself and the best way to prepare yourself for the future is to surround yourself with great people who love you and will support you no matter what you decide to eventually do with your life. These people should be people that you feel you can openly talk to yet they will be honest with you. I know that I am young so it's better to hear that your friends don't think you are suitable for a certain job now rather than when I'm 50-odd.
To make the future less scary, you should talk about it. Talk about your fears, dreams and ambitions. I am so thankful that I will be meeting up with my best friend in the near future so that I can talk about all these things. I know what I want to say, but I will go into this light hearted chat with an open mind and willing to listen to what they are going to say to me. I shan't go in thinking that I only have one option or my life is worthless because that's a lie and an unhealthy thing to think. I'm sure many people my age have no idea what they are going to end up doing, so I know that I am not alone in this.
Decisions are hard to make. I try and put them off because that delays the future, right? Wrong. The tip is to be honest with yourself and be open. Don't bottle up an idea because you think it's too ambitious or you aren't willing to put the work in to achieving that goal because, if that is the case, then maybe that idea isn't for you.
The future is scary but I'm in it for the long run. Tomorrow's the start of a new beginning.
Stay Strong
Michael
Thursday 9 May 2013
Am I Well?
People ask me if I am well quite a lot at the moment and, to be honest, I have no idea. There are different ways you can measure how well you are and I just don't if I cover those ways well enough.
Am I well?
Stay Strong
Michael
Adverb
In a good or satisfactory way: "the whole team played well".
I try to do things well. I try my best even though I know that my best isn't always what people want from me, they want more. At times I do feel like I am not good enough, or that I'm "second-best", that, no matter how much I try, I will never be enough. I take pride in what I do and create. There isn't a thing that I do that I don't put my heart into. I love the feeling after I have written a new song, recorded it and then listened back. I think I do well at being a friend. I try and make myself available if they need any support or advice with the only desire that they do that in return.Adjective
In good health; free or recovered from illness.
I think that I am not ill. Yes, I do get the odd problem but nothing major. I do suffer from headaches a lot and some of that is stress related or related to me over-working myself, which I often do to keep myself occupied or else I think about things that hurt me. I am relatively healthy. Sure, there are people healthier than I but I have no concern over my physical health. I couldn't run a marathon tomorrow but, then again, I don't want or need to.Exclamation
Used to express a range of emotions including surprise, anger, resignation, or relief: "Well, really! The manners of some people!"
I need to do this more. I don't express myself because I bottle things up. Partly to protect others. I don't want to hurt people. I try to deal with things in my head. This doesn't fully work but I get by. There are people that I can talk to and I know that, but some things are best kept to myself. I try to keep myself busy to stop myself thinking by setting myself projects. I have quite a few on at the go currently; exam revision, a musical, a music-based mass setting, a young person's concert. These all keep my mind focused in an attempt to stop me from thinking... I still think though.Noun
A shaft sunk into the ground to obtain water, oil, or gas
Umm... I can't even make a joke about this so, let's move on...Verb
(of a liquid) Rise up to the surface and spill or be about to spill: "tears were beginning to well in her eyes"
They rise and fall and I can't do anything about it. I won't cry in front of people because I'm too proud to do that, but I cry nonetheless. I have never felt like this before. Things don't make sense. People get annoyed at me when they ask me how I feel and I just reply "I don't know", but I genuinely don't know. I'm so confused and lost and hurt and broken... and not good enough for anything or anyone.Am I well?
Stay Strong
Michael
Wednesday 8 May 2013
A Watched Clock Doesn't Tick
It's a stupid phrase because the clock does still tick. I can hear it and see the second hand moving, but the meaning behind it is what is important and what makes sense.
The way I can best describe it is if you're looking out of the window to spot your best friend coming around. Let's say they were supposed to turn up at 11am so you start watching from 10:57am, just in case they are early. Those 3 minutes take forever don't they? The time goes faster if you go and do something else, even sit down and put your head in a book or brain teaser puzzle.
Success is a similar thing. I have my own YouTube channel and, when I started out, I thought the view count would sky rocket and I would sit and watch as the count went up very slowly. I now go back to earlier videos and see how high the view count is. It's higher than I expected and all because I'm not sitting there and comparing myself to my expectations.
I get this with concert attendances. I try not to see the audience as they come in any more because I disappoint myself. I much prefer the shock of walking out in front of the audience right at the beginning of the show and only then realising how many people are there.
So stop measuring yourself and just do things. You'll see the benefits later. Just do what you enjoy and the numbers will sort themselves out. Stop watching the clock. Oh... and on the waiting for your friend front, they will turn up so stop worrying. Standing by the window won't make them turn up any faster.
Stay Strong
Michael
The way I can best describe it is if you're looking out of the window to spot your best friend coming around. Let's say they were supposed to turn up at 11am so you start watching from 10:57am, just in case they are early. Those 3 minutes take forever don't they? The time goes faster if you go and do something else, even sit down and put your head in a book or brain teaser puzzle.
Success is a similar thing. I have my own YouTube channel and, when I started out, I thought the view count would sky rocket and I would sit and watch as the count went up very slowly. I now go back to earlier videos and see how high the view count is. It's higher than I expected and all because I'm not sitting there and comparing myself to my expectations.
I get this with concert attendances. I try not to see the audience as they come in any more because I disappoint myself. I much prefer the shock of walking out in front of the audience right at the beginning of the show and only then realising how many people are there.
So stop measuring yourself and just do things. You'll see the benefits later. Just do what you enjoy and the numbers will sort themselves out. Stop watching the clock. Oh... and on the waiting for your friend front, they will turn up so stop worrying. Standing by the window won't make them turn up any faster.
Stay Strong
Michael
Wednesday 1 May 2013
I'm Not An Expert
I'm sitting here watching the Snooker World Championships and, like with most other sports that I watch, I'm making comments. I'm saying things like "Oooh... I wouldn't have played that shot" and "I would have played that a bit better". I seem to think that I'm some sort of snooker guru. Sure, I've played some snooker in the past but I wouldn't say that I'm anywhere near as great as these guys. These snooker players earn their living my playing snooker. They must know more than me because this is their life.
The same can be said for other things in life. We shouldn't comment if we don't know the facts, if we aren't in that situation ourselves. We all make mistakes and little judgement errors. I make mistakes and little judgement errors, but it's how we bounce back from those errors that defines who we are and how we well we can achieve. Right now I've just seen Judd Trump play a poor shot but recover by playing the most amazing pot ever! No one is talking about the error, they are praising the pot.
Part of us doesn't want other people to know that we don't know anything about something. We feel we need to have an opinion, but we really don't. Yes, we make mistakes and have our faults and I know my failings. I don't need someone else to tell me what they are. What I do need is help to understand what to do to recover. These snooker players have had coaching to teach them what to do in different situations and they have practiced. Okay, you can't practice at life as you have one shot at it but the people around you should guide you through, not judge you and tell you your faults or where you have made a mistake.
Shaun Murphy has been playing awfully in this game and I've been laughing at him and shouting abuse at him. He's just scored a century. Do you think he cares about what I was shouting at him? No, because he knows what he's doing. There's a reason why he's playing in the world championships and I'm not, much like there's a reason why I'm not playing Broadway or a numerous other things.
So, remember that when you open your mouth to hurl abuse at someone because they fall. They are in that position, doing what they do, for a reason, and you're not. You're not them so you can't comment.
Stay Strong
Michael
The same can be said for other things in life. We shouldn't comment if we don't know the facts, if we aren't in that situation ourselves. We all make mistakes and little judgement errors. I make mistakes and little judgement errors, but it's how we bounce back from those errors that defines who we are and how we well we can achieve. Right now I've just seen Judd Trump play a poor shot but recover by playing the most amazing pot ever! No one is talking about the error, they are praising the pot.
Part of us doesn't want other people to know that we don't know anything about something. We feel we need to have an opinion, but we really don't. Yes, we make mistakes and have our faults and I know my failings. I don't need someone else to tell me what they are. What I do need is help to understand what to do to recover. These snooker players have had coaching to teach them what to do in different situations and they have practiced. Okay, you can't practice at life as you have one shot at it but the people around you should guide you through, not judge you and tell you your faults or where you have made a mistake.
Shaun Murphy has been playing awfully in this game and I've been laughing at him and shouting abuse at him. He's just scored a century. Do you think he cares about what I was shouting at him? No, because he knows what he's doing. There's a reason why he's playing in the world championships and I'm not, much like there's a reason why I'm not playing Broadway or a numerous other things.
So, remember that when you open your mouth to hurl abuse at someone because they fall. They are in that position, doing what they do, for a reason, and you're not. You're not them so you can't comment.
Stay Strong
Michael
Tuesday 30 April 2013
I Have A Secret...
"Secrets protect us. Secrets make us safe."We all keep secrets, but who do we keep them from? Do we keep them from other people because we're scared of the effects and we want to protect them, or do we keep them from ourselves, to protect us?
Either way, we keep things from people. I know I have done and still do, partly because I don't think anyone else is interested but partly because I want to protect people. Some things are best left unsaid, even though everyone knows what the truth is. With no confirmation, we can believe what we like even though everyone know differently.
I have a secret... many secrets...
Stay Strong
Michael
Friday 26 April 2013
I'm Regenerating!
I've never really been one to care about how I look. I leave my hair how it comes, put the first clothes I can see in my cupboards and draws on and, in general, I have a care free attitude. I've always thought inner beauty is much more important than outer. It now seems that the latter is more important to people.
Suddenly, I feel really insecure about how people see me on the outside. Part of me wants to lock myself away, never to see the light of day. I've felt this before and it's bizarre as it was when similar events have happened to me in the past.
So, like the Doctor, I'm going to regenerate, but not in the same way. I'm not going to change how I look, how I dress, or how I act. I am my biggest critic and if I can cope with how I am, then so can others. And if they don't like this me, then it is their lose. People should be impressed and grow to love who you are, not what you are.
I'm not going to change because of some comments made to me. Yes, I have considered it in the past and yes, I know I'm not the best looking or best dressed guy around, but I really don't want to be. I'm just going to reinstate my care-free nature and not worry about such things. Yes, I'm still insecure about myself physically, but I know that I am great on the inside. People wouldn't be my friends if I wasn't. I'm not a burden to them.
This is me. I have my faults, my imperfections, but I do have some great qualities of my own. I am unique and you'll never come across another person like me. I know that sounds corny, but it's true. No one has ever, is ever or will ever be like me. Just because I have certain traits of other people, doesn't mean that I am that person.
Michael
Suddenly, I feel really insecure about how people see me on the outside. Part of me wants to lock myself away, never to see the light of day. I've felt this before and it's bizarre as it was when similar events have happened to me in the past.
So, like the Doctor, I'm going to regenerate, but not in the same way. I'm not going to change how I look, how I dress, or how I act. I am my biggest critic and if I can cope with how I am, then so can others. And if they don't like this me, then it is their lose. People should be impressed and grow to love who you are, not what you are.
I'm not going to change because of some comments made to me. Yes, I have considered it in the past and yes, I know I'm not the best looking or best dressed guy around, but I really don't want to be. I'm just going to reinstate my care-free nature and not worry about such things. Yes, I'm still insecure about myself physically, but I know that I am great on the inside. People wouldn't be my friends if I wasn't. I'm not a burden to them.
This is me. I have my faults, my imperfections, but I do have some great qualities of my own. I am unique and you'll never come across another person like me. I know that sounds corny, but it's true. No one has ever, is ever or will ever be like me. Just because I have certain traits of other people, doesn't mean that I am that person.
"I can be my own person and not be a burden. The voices no longer spew out their poisons to me" - Alex (from the musical I'm working on)
"I don't want to go" - David Tennant (as the Doctor)Stay Strong
Michael
Sunday 21 April 2013
A Little Support
I'm not going to give up. Neither on you or myself.
There is so much life still left to live for us all and giving up this early would be a a completely absurd idea. You've never given up on me, and I certainly will not give up on you, no matter what the circumstances are, have been and yet to be.
Remember that you have great people around you and that I will be with you every step of the way.
Rawr.
Stay Strong
Michael
There is so much life still left to live for us all and giving up this early would be a a completely absurd idea. You've never given up on me, and I certainly will not give up on you, no matter what the circumstances are, have been and yet to be.
Remember that you have great people around you and that I will be with you every step of the way.
Rawr.
Stay Strong
Michael
Monday 15 April 2013
Some Truth
One thing I hate having done to me is people quoting me back to me. Sometimes this is because I laugh at my own words and at the fact that someone has actually listened to them and taken them on board. Other times it's because I realise how comforting my own words can be and take pride in another person realising how comforting they are, using them for their own comfort, and then saying them to me to comfort me.
Every blog entry (bar one because I got eaten by a monster in that blog) ends with the words "Stay Strong". I seem to be using this more and more in every day life to others and to myself, and others are using it. It's easy to forget how great and special we all are. Every life is unique... and brilliant. YOU are brilliant and fantastic and amazing and... the list is endless.
I know that "Stay Strong" can mean a lot of different things, but I thought I'd give an insight into why I say it. I started blogging because I needed a way to express myself. My thoughts, feelings and emotions. This is really hard to do when you want to say things to specific people whilst keeping in mind that there are people who read online blogs who have no idea who you are. I'm finding myself to be at the lowest point in my life yet, in a way, I feel good about life. I feel the most alone that I ever have, yet I find myself having the best friend imaginable and a great group of friends and people I can talk to. I have huge swings between being this over-confident guy who'd talk anything to this guy who practically given up on being successful in any aspect of life. I seem to be a person who helps others, just not himself.
I could never do something for me, not even the smallest thing. Even making tea. I have to make tea for a group of people, not just myself. I live to impress others. My biggest fear is not not being able to pass exams, not getting through a good university or not getting a decent job. Those things don't matter to me. My biggest fear is not having someone to impress, to want to impress. Someone who I can dedicate my life to, and everything that I do. It is then that I'd care about getting a well paid job and being successful, but not for me, for them.
I guess that I should listen to me more, and you should do the same. Read back on things you have written, remember conversations. You might just learn something from yourself. We learn from our own mistakes, but we also learn from our successes.
That's all I'm going to say right now because I'm not feeling my best (I am actually ill) and I'm not sure what else I can say. So...
Stay Strong
Michael
Every blog entry (bar one because I got eaten by a monster in that blog) ends with the words "Stay Strong". I seem to be using this more and more in every day life to others and to myself, and others are using it. It's easy to forget how great and special we all are. Every life is unique... and brilliant. YOU are brilliant and fantastic and amazing and... the list is endless.
I know that "Stay Strong" can mean a lot of different things, but I thought I'd give an insight into why I say it. I started blogging because I needed a way to express myself. My thoughts, feelings and emotions. This is really hard to do when you want to say things to specific people whilst keeping in mind that there are people who read online blogs who have no idea who you are. I'm finding myself to be at the lowest point in my life yet, in a way, I feel good about life. I feel the most alone that I ever have, yet I find myself having the best friend imaginable and a great group of friends and people I can talk to. I have huge swings between being this over-confident guy who'd talk anything to this guy who practically given up on being successful in any aspect of life. I seem to be a person who helps others, just not himself.
I could never do something for me, not even the smallest thing. Even making tea. I have to make tea for a group of people, not just myself. I live to impress others. My biggest fear is not not being able to pass exams, not getting through a good university or not getting a decent job. Those things don't matter to me. My biggest fear is not having someone to impress, to want to impress. Someone who I can dedicate my life to, and everything that I do. It is then that I'd care about getting a well paid job and being successful, but not for me, for them.
I guess that I should listen to me more, and you should do the same. Read back on things you have written, remember conversations. You might just learn something from yourself. We learn from our own mistakes, but we also learn from our successes.
That's all I'm going to say right now because I'm not feeling my best (I am actually ill) and I'm not sure what else I can say. So...
Stay Strong
Michael
Monday 8 April 2013
A Trilogy of Blogs
This blog comes in three parts: an apology/notice, some advice, and a message/reminder.
I've always wanted my blog to express me, to express what I think and feel about the world, but I find myself struggling to express myself in the real world, let alone in a written blog. A lot of what I'm thinking about is way too personal for a public blog and, to be honest, I'm not making much sense of it and have internal battles to fight before I do make sense of them.
I've also wanted my blog to entertain, but I really doubt that I am doing. I'm not entertaining anyone at the moment. My music writing has dried up and whenever I try to do anything creative, I lose the heart. I've always said that creative things have to come from the heart, but I guess that I don't know where my heart lies right now.
I like to impress people, and to impress myself... but I'm not. I'm not proud of who I've become. I'm throwing work away because I'm not proud of it. Parts of me have never been better. I relate to different emotions much more clearly and can portray them, and I like the idea of that. But a huge part of me feels alone and empty and I need some time to work out what it is I'm missing. I think I know, but if it is what I think it is then it's no way near fixable as easy as I'd like it to be. I guess that I'm just not good enough, even though people say that I am. To contradict myself and all my previous messages, the words are meaningless.
The advice I want to give is about revision. Everyone has different ways of revising. I know that I'm an 'active' reviser meaning that I have to have a short term goal for each revision sessions. Reading a textbook doesn't work for me. I need to create flash cards, answer questions and, if I do need to just read things, go for a walk. Walks are very refreshing and I much prefer reading on the move than just in my room. I have to be active and hands on in everything I do. Actively doing something, even making mistakes, is much more helpful than reading about how to do it.
Try out your own ways of revising. I find a different way for each subject helps, but that's easier said than done if you have a large number of subjects that you need to revise for. In that case, may I suggest different locations? Sometimes remembering a location as part of your revision helps, say if you did History in the garden and then Biology in the living room. I'm a firm believe of locational memory... I've spoken about that in the past.
No doubt I'll be back with a blog or two whilst I'm still revising. I'm just scared of sharing anything too personal that might upset people or make situations worse.
Stay Strong
Michael
Part 1
I just wanted to say that blogs might be few and far between in the coming months. Most of this is due to exams and me having to focus on revising for the multitude of maths exams that I have to sit, but also partly because I don't have much to say, certainly not at the moment.I've always wanted my blog to express me, to express what I think and feel about the world, but I find myself struggling to express myself in the real world, let alone in a written blog. A lot of what I'm thinking about is way too personal for a public blog and, to be honest, I'm not making much sense of it and have internal battles to fight before I do make sense of them.
I've also wanted my blog to entertain, but I really doubt that I am doing. I'm not entertaining anyone at the moment. My music writing has dried up and whenever I try to do anything creative, I lose the heart. I've always said that creative things have to come from the heart, but I guess that I don't know where my heart lies right now.
I like to impress people, and to impress myself... but I'm not. I'm not proud of who I've become. I'm throwing work away because I'm not proud of it. Parts of me have never been better. I relate to different emotions much more clearly and can portray them, and I like the idea of that. But a huge part of me feels alone and empty and I need some time to work out what it is I'm missing. I think I know, but if it is what I think it is then it's no way near fixable as easy as I'd like it to be. I guess that I'm just not good enough, even though people say that I am. To contradict myself and all my previous messages, the words are meaningless.
Part 2
As I have mentioned a little bit already, I am taking a revision break. I really need to get my head down for these exams and so, I'm cutting a lot of things out of my life, some of which really represent me. I shall be a robot for the next few months.The advice I want to give is about revision. Everyone has different ways of revising. I know that I'm an 'active' reviser meaning that I have to have a short term goal for each revision sessions. Reading a textbook doesn't work for me. I need to create flash cards, answer questions and, if I do need to just read things, go for a walk. Walks are very refreshing and I much prefer reading on the move than just in my room. I have to be active and hands on in everything I do. Actively doing something, even making mistakes, is much more helpful than reading about how to do it.
Try out your own ways of revising. I find a different way for each subject helps, but that's easier said than done if you have a large number of subjects that you need to revise for. In that case, may I suggest different locations? Sometimes remembering a location as part of your revision helps, say if you did History in the garden and then Biology in the living room. I'm a firm believe of locational memory... I've spoken about that in the past.
Part 3
My little message is, don't forget me. I'm still around and human if you ever need someone to talk to. I'm still contactable in the normal ways, although watch out if you contact me on my mobile phone as a) it's not really working very well and, b) I might be getting a new one with a new number but I shall tell you if that is the case.No doubt I'll be back with a blog or two whilst I'm still revising. I'm just scared of sharing anything too personal that might upset people or make situations worse.
Stay Strong
Michael
Friday 5 April 2013
Where's My Mask???
I feel the need to blog, to write what I'm thinking down... but I can't.
It's not that I don't know what I'm thinking about, I know precisely, but I can't explain it and I'm terrified of it. It's that situation again where I'm terrified of acting upon it, but also terrified of not acting upon it. I keep telling myself that I can't control any of this... but I know that I can control parts of it. I'm controlling the urge to scream out loud, to ransack by room, to hurt myself... and I'm controlling my feelings of delight, joy... actual happiness because I don't want to let on how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking about.
I've lost the mask I once wore. The metaphorical mask that protected me from emotions and I'm struggling to find it again. Part of me wants to but a larger part of me knows that I shouldn't and that, maybe it wasn't the losing of the mask but having the mask in the first place that has made me like this.
Circles. I'm sorry.
Stay Strong
Michael
It's not that I don't know what I'm thinking about, I know precisely, but I can't explain it and I'm terrified of it. It's that situation again where I'm terrified of acting upon it, but also terrified of not acting upon it. I keep telling myself that I can't control any of this... but I know that I can control parts of it. I'm controlling the urge to scream out loud, to ransack by room, to hurt myself... and I'm controlling my feelings of delight, joy... actual happiness because I don't want to let on how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking about.
I've lost the mask I once wore. The metaphorical mask that protected me from emotions and I'm struggling to find it again. Part of me wants to but a larger part of me knows that I shouldn't and that, maybe it wasn't the losing of the mask but having the mask in the first place that has made me like this.
Circles. I'm sorry.
Stay Strong
Michael
Monday 1 April 2013
And... Relax
I need to relax and stop stressing. I know that. I've been extremely stressed of late and I know that I will be even more so in the coming weeks and months as I prepare for my A-level exams which I desperately need to do well in if I want to have any chance of getting into University. I've started revising a little bit and will be spending most of this week in college, even though it is the Easter holidays. I just need to finish off a load of coursework and go along to revision sessions.
With all this and all my current musical commitments and musical commitments I aspire to be involved in and plan to be involved in, some form of social life that I apparently have and still trying to sort things out in my head, my life is quite full... and stressful.
Trick is to try and relax, find something that relaxes me. Usually when I'm stressed, I'll play the piano, but that is sometimes the reason for stressing out, especially if I'm overworking myself with composing and performing. However, I think I've found my solution... listening to music.
I'm not a great listener of music other than listening to the music I play. I don't have an iPod and I don't buy the albums of the latest artists or even artists that I like. My solution comes in the form of Jamie Cullum, an amazing jazz-pop singer-songwriter pianist who is absolutely amazing!!! As I write this I'm listening to the BBC Proms he did in 2010 with the Heritage Orchestra (one of my favourite orchestras who also worked with Tim Minchin on his latest tour). It's absolutely brilliant and very easy to listen to. Helpfully, it's also 90 minutes long so I don't have to keep changing songs every 5 minutes on Youtube. I'll link you to it because I think it's amazing and extremely relaxing, along with having some great comic performing moments from Jamie Cullum and awesome orchestrations and improvised solos! Featuring love songs, break up songs and a song about being a lost twenty year old, this show has everything! It even has Jamie Cullum slowly undressing himself...! In one word... Fantastic!
I feel I'll be listening to this a lot over the coming months!
Stay Strong
Michael
With all this and all my current musical commitments and musical commitments I aspire to be involved in and plan to be involved in, some form of social life that I apparently have and still trying to sort things out in my head, my life is quite full... and stressful.
Trick is to try and relax, find something that relaxes me. Usually when I'm stressed, I'll play the piano, but that is sometimes the reason for stressing out, especially if I'm overworking myself with composing and performing. However, I think I've found my solution... listening to music.
I'm not a great listener of music other than listening to the music I play. I don't have an iPod and I don't buy the albums of the latest artists or even artists that I like. My solution comes in the form of Jamie Cullum, an amazing jazz-pop singer-songwriter pianist who is absolutely amazing!!! As I write this I'm listening to the BBC Proms he did in 2010 with the Heritage Orchestra (one of my favourite orchestras who also worked with Tim Minchin on his latest tour). It's absolutely brilliant and very easy to listen to. Helpfully, it's also 90 minutes long so I don't have to keep changing songs every 5 minutes on Youtube. I'll link you to it because I think it's amazing and extremely relaxing, along with having some great comic performing moments from Jamie Cullum and awesome orchestrations and improvised solos! Featuring love songs, break up songs and a song about being a lost twenty year old, this show has everything! It even has Jamie Cullum slowly undressing himself...! In one word... Fantastic!
I feel I'll be listening to this a lot over the coming months!
Stay Strong
Michael
Saturday 30 March 2013
We Interrupt This Program...
Do you ever feel down, or alone? Ever feel like you need a way to release energy or make yourself happy? Do you need something to bring a bit of a spark to your life?
Then try all new JAZZ HANDS!
Jazz hands are made for those moments when you need a bit of a spark. It's impossible to do jazz hands without bringing a smile to your face. And best of all, they're free!!!
Jazz hands come in many different forms: The solo jazz hands, the group jazz hands and , my personal favourite, the OTT Jazz hands for those extra special Jazz hands moments.
So, what are you waiting for? Start Jazz hand-ing NOW!!!
Stay Strong
Michael
Then try all new JAZZ HANDS!
Jazz hands are made for those moments when you need a bit of a spark. It's impossible to do jazz hands without bringing a smile to your face. And best of all, they're free!!!
Jazz hands come in many different forms: The solo jazz hands, the group jazz hands and , my personal favourite, the OTT Jazz hands for those extra special Jazz hands moments.
So, what are you waiting for? Start Jazz hand-ing NOW!!!
Stay Strong
Michael
Thursday 28 March 2013
What I Don't Understand About... Miscellaneous #1
For the fourth installment of this little series of mine, I thought I'd briefly mention some things that I don't understand but don't really have enough to talk about them without rambling. This way, I can make each topic short and sweet (just like you, reader, hey! #SuchABloggingFlirtIAm)
So here goes...
I guess I don't put enough effort into my hair, or how I look in general but I don't really care. I want people to like me for my personality and not because I wear the latest style in tops and jeans!
That's all I can think of right now. Here's an idea! You readers out there could comment any things you don't understand in the comment-y thing at the bottom. I'd be really interested to read them! It can be about anything because this is just a random list with no sense or order to them.
Stay Strong
Michael
So here goes...
What I Don't Understand About...
My Hair
If any of you know me, you'll know that my hair is a complete mess. To cut a long story short, it styles itself and is completely waterproof, I mean water actually bounces off it! Apparently, according to my hairdresser, it is really thick and, according to an ex-girlfriend, really soft even though it doesn't look it.I guess I don't put enough effort into my hair, or how I look in general but I don't really care. I want people to like me for my personality and not because I wear the latest style in tops and jeans!
Hidden Agendas
I don't understand why people have them. Why do people have to be deceitful and do things for their own motives? It's just stupid and very hurtful. The whole idea that someone thinks they are more special and important than anyone else is beyond me. We're all equally as important and all have a purpose. We don't need to go things to for others to benefit us! If you help others enough then you'll get the rewards. You don't need to seek them out intentionally yourselfMaking a Good Blog
I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time, and this blog is one of those things. I'm not at all sure whether or not this is any good or if people actually read this, but I do know that I enjoy writing it. At least this way I can say something 'funny' and not get embarrassed when nobody laughs! (That happens a lot). It also means that I can express myself, which was the reason why I started blogging along with wanting people to understand a bit more about me and to see that maybe, just maybe, they aren't alone. In that sense, this is a good blog as it's another way I can express myself without being confined to song lyrics that have to have a certain rhythm or rhyme. I don't have to be poetic!That's all I can think of right now. Here's an idea! You readers out there could comment any things you don't understand in the comment-y thing at the bottom. I'd be really interested to read them! It can be about anything because this is just a random list with no sense or order to them.
Stay Strong
Michael
Tuesday 26 March 2013
What I Don't Understand About... Marking "The Arts!"
Welcome to 'episode' 3 of this little series of mine. Today, I shall talk (rant) about the arts and how they are graded for exams.
Any art form, whether that be a painting, music, dance, drama, or sculpture etc., is opinionated. The Arts are emotion and feeling lead and make a statement. You only have to look at modern art to see that they are there to provoke a feeling within the onlooker.
This is where grading art forms is hard. To some people, a black spot on a canvas can symbolise a vast array of feelings and emotions. To others, it is just a black spot on a canvas. I can understand that a black spot on a canvas doesn't show much technical ability, but it could easily score highly on what it symbolises.
From middle school to high school I used to really enjoy art. Everyone in my class used to say that my drawings were amazing and they even asked me to draw for their 'Big Work'. Thing is, my art teacher didn't think so and so, I got low grades. This really confused me and hurt me in a way. I used to love drawing, and now I don't. I don't draw anymore, even though I have books on how to draw amazing things like speedboats, F1 cars and Dinosaurs, even though I have proper drawing pencils and an artist's notepad. I lost the heart.
Music is now my creative passion, but even that is subjective. Two of my friends who are amazing musicians hated a composition I wrote, especially some of the harmony. I was really proud of the re-harmonizing that I had made, but having them say that they didn't like it hurt a little. I nearly got rid of it until I showed a music lecturer from a university who specialises in composition. He loved it! The same can be said for another of my compositions. One friend hates it whilst all my teachers are saying that it's on for a top grade... how bizarre a turn that has taken from the art work.
The message here is just create what you like and can be proud of. End of the day, if you are having to work on, let's say, a sculpture for your Art coursework and you have to spend weeks and months on it, then it should be something you would like to create and enjoy making because you'll have to put a lot of time into making it perfect and spend many hours looking at it, so you might as well like it! Same goes for any other art form. Just go out and enjoy yourself! If you enjoy it then what you create will improve!
Stay Strong
Michael
Any art form, whether that be a painting, music, dance, drama, or sculpture etc., is opinionated. The Arts are emotion and feeling lead and make a statement. You only have to look at modern art to see that they are there to provoke a feeling within the onlooker.
This is where grading art forms is hard. To some people, a black spot on a canvas can symbolise a vast array of feelings and emotions. To others, it is just a black spot on a canvas. I can understand that a black spot on a canvas doesn't show much technical ability, but it could easily score highly on what it symbolises.
From middle school to high school I used to really enjoy art. Everyone in my class used to say that my drawings were amazing and they even asked me to draw for their 'Big Work'. Thing is, my art teacher didn't think so and so, I got low grades. This really confused me and hurt me in a way. I used to love drawing, and now I don't. I don't draw anymore, even though I have books on how to draw amazing things like speedboats, F1 cars and Dinosaurs, even though I have proper drawing pencils and an artist's notepad. I lost the heart.
Music is now my creative passion, but even that is subjective. Two of my friends who are amazing musicians hated a composition I wrote, especially some of the harmony. I was really proud of the re-harmonizing that I had made, but having them say that they didn't like it hurt a little. I nearly got rid of it until I showed a music lecturer from a university who specialises in composition. He loved it! The same can be said for another of my compositions. One friend hates it whilst all my teachers are saying that it's on for a top grade... how bizarre a turn that has taken from the art work.
The message here is just create what you like and can be proud of. End of the day, if you are having to work on, let's say, a sculpture for your Art coursework and you have to spend weeks and months on it, then it should be something you would like to create and enjoy making because you'll have to put a lot of time into making it perfect and spend many hours looking at it, so you might as well like it! Same goes for any other art form. Just go out and enjoy yourself! If you enjoy it then what you create will improve!
Stay Strong
Michael
Saturday 23 March 2013
I Know I've Got What It Takes
How many of you have heard of Alex Day? He's a British YouTuber and independent music who writes his own musician and produces and releases it without the help of a record label. What he has achieved on his own is amazing. With the help of his fanbase, he has managed to get 4 of his own songs in the UK Top 40... incredible!
Recently on his YouTube channel he released the video to his latest song, "I've Got What It Takes" and I have to say, it's a beautiful song. Today, I decided that I would find/work out the chords and have a read of the lyrics, and those lyrics really spoke to me.
The song talks about having faith that things will turn out well, and that you should follow your dreams, and those words are a huge comfort to me especially at this time. The whole idea of feeling that I can get through this no matter what is really quite uplifting.
Stay Strong
Michael
Recently on his YouTube channel he released the video to his latest song, "I've Got What It Takes" and I have to say, it's a beautiful song. Today, I decided that I would find/work out the chords and have a read of the lyrics, and those lyrics really spoke to me.
The song talks about having faith that things will turn out well, and that you should follow your dreams, and those words are a huge comfort to me especially at this time. The whole idea of feeling that I can get through this no matter what is really quite uplifting.
So, if I've got what it takes, then so do you!
"I don't have superpowers, there's no magic spell
But I remain faithful for things to go well
I'm not looking for miracles, at least for today
I know I've got what it takes"
Stay Strong
Michael
Sunday 17 March 2013
What I Don't Understand About...Birthdays!
Welcome to episode two of this series of mine where I rant about things that I don't understand or have twisted views on. This 'episode' focuses on birthdays.
It's not that I don't understand the concept of a birthday. As we all know, it's the day when we exit our mother's womb with much crying, screaming and shouting (and that's not just the baby that is you). Obviously, it is great to celebrate such a thing, much like when we celebrate wedding anniversaries and the like, I just don't think we celebrate them properly. The focus of the celebrations seem to centre around the person whose birthday it is and , in my opinion, that is slightly wrong.
It always amuses me when people say "Congratulations on being a year older" and then applaud you. I don't understand this for multiple reasons. Firstly, you aren't a year older. You're a day older, or even a second older. We get older all the time so why are we celebrating getting older just one day a year? Also, why are you congratulating the birthday person? All they've managed to do for this 'achievement' is survived another year.
My view is that the birthday person shouldn't be the one receiving presents or gifts, but the mother of the person for it is them that struggled with you inside them for nine months and then had to deal with all the actual giving birth stuff. They had to deal with buying larger, rather unflattering clothes, back pains, cravings for bizarre food combinations and all the stresses of gathering all the baby equipment and clothes that are necessary. If it wasn't for your mother, you wouldn't be here. Also, if it wasn't for the father although he has to deal with considerably less pain, about from the moans from a baby-carrying woman. Maybe have a "Happy Conception Day" for the father so he doesn't feel left out.
I doubt any of this will change anything, but I think a lot of it should be taken on board. I know that it's nice to wish people a "Happy Birthday" but, to me, for that individual, there is no point in congratulating them... unless they're one of those extreme risk takes then, sure, congratulate them on surviving life!!!
Stay Strong
Michael
It's not that I don't understand the concept of a birthday. As we all know, it's the day when we exit our mother's womb with much crying, screaming and shouting (and that's not just the baby that is you). Obviously, it is great to celebrate such a thing, much like when we celebrate wedding anniversaries and the like, I just don't think we celebrate them properly. The focus of the celebrations seem to centre around the person whose birthday it is and , in my opinion, that is slightly wrong.
It always amuses me when people say "Congratulations on being a year older" and then applaud you. I don't understand this for multiple reasons. Firstly, you aren't a year older. You're a day older, or even a second older. We get older all the time so why are we celebrating getting older just one day a year? Also, why are you congratulating the birthday person? All they've managed to do for this 'achievement' is survived another year.
My view is that the birthday person shouldn't be the one receiving presents or gifts, but the mother of the person for it is them that struggled with you inside them for nine months and then had to deal with all the actual giving birth stuff. They had to deal with buying larger, rather unflattering clothes, back pains, cravings for bizarre food combinations and all the stresses of gathering all the baby equipment and clothes that are necessary. If it wasn't for your mother, you wouldn't be here. Also, if it wasn't for the father although he has to deal with considerably less pain, about from the moans from a baby-carrying woman. Maybe have a "Happy Conception Day" for the father so he doesn't feel left out.
I doubt any of this will change anything, but I think a lot of it should be taken on board. I know that it's nice to wish people a "Happy Birthday" but, to me, for that individual, there is no point in congratulating them... unless they're one of those extreme risk takes then, sure, congratulate them on surviving life!!!
Stay Strong
Michael
Friday 15 March 2013
What I Don't Understand About...People!
There are lots of things in the world that I don't understand; parametric differentiation, fashion, hair, Japanese, cooking, vegetarians... but the thing that most confuses me is YOU and, specifically your mind.
I mean 'YOU' in a generalised term, like in French where you have 'You' (singular) and 'You' (plural). Basically, I don't understand how people think and why they act in certain ways. It seems logical to me that, if you think something then you should act upon it. I don't like it when people constantly change their minds, or say they're going to do one thing and then do the opposite, or they refuse to learn from their mistakes or lack of judgement.
We all make mistakes, or say things and do something different. I'm not going to say that I have not done any of these things, because I have. I'm not perfect or amazing etc.. I'm just me. I have been involved in and witnessed situations where someone has said they'll do something and then not, and that can get to a lot of people and make people feel hurt, but also angry and begin to not trust you. It also hurts you... more so I would imagine as you begin to do things you don't want to do, but you do them because you 'have to' or someone else 'wants you' to.
Thing is, we need to get out of that mindset. It helps a lot. I've had a great week because I suddenly feel liberated. I'm doing things because I enjoy them, not because someone else wants me to or because I feel I have to do something to impress someone. I've become my own person again, and that's what I want everyone else to do. Don't do something when you don't want to. Stop hurting yourself. Something that I learned today is that, in order to love other people, you first have to love yourself. That isn't self-love and big-headedness but more accepting who you are and being happy with who you are and what you do and how you tick.
Quite a few people I know seem to be going around in endless circles in their life (metaphorically of course because literally would just be down right funny). What they need to understand is that they have the power to exit that circle, but they just seem to choose not to use it. And I can't help them anymore because I said all I could the first time and my opinions rarely change when it comes to morals.
But, hey-ho. Life goes on... and I still don't understand those vegetarians. Maybe that's a rant for another day... and maybe I should turn this into a series every *insert period of time here*.
Stay Strong
Michael
I mean 'YOU' in a generalised term, like in French where you have 'You' (singular) and 'You' (plural). Basically, I don't understand how people think and why they act in certain ways. It seems logical to me that, if you think something then you should act upon it. I don't like it when people constantly change their minds, or say they're going to do one thing and then do the opposite, or they refuse to learn from their mistakes or lack of judgement.
We all make mistakes, or say things and do something different. I'm not going to say that I have not done any of these things, because I have. I'm not perfect or amazing etc.. I'm just me. I have been involved in and witnessed situations where someone has said they'll do something and then not, and that can get to a lot of people and make people feel hurt, but also angry and begin to not trust you. It also hurts you... more so I would imagine as you begin to do things you don't want to do, but you do them because you 'have to' or someone else 'wants you' to.
Thing is, we need to get out of that mindset. It helps a lot. I've had a great week because I suddenly feel liberated. I'm doing things because I enjoy them, not because someone else wants me to or because I feel I have to do something to impress someone. I've become my own person again, and that's what I want everyone else to do. Don't do something when you don't want to. Stop hurting yourself. Something that I learned today is that, in order to love other people, you first have to love yourself. That isn't self-love and big-headedness but more accepting who you are and being happy with who you are and what you do and how you tick.
Quite a few people I know seem to be going around in endless circles in their life (metaphorically of course because literally would just be down right funny). What they need to understand is that they have the power to exit that circle, but they just seem to choose not to use it. And I can't help them anymore because I said all I could the first time and my opinions rarely change when it comes to morals.
But, hey-ho. Life goes on... and I still don't understand those vegetarians. Maybe that's a rant for another day... and maybe I should turn this into a series every *insert period of time here*.
Stay Strong
Michael
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Snow More!!!
I feel I need a rant. I'm angry.
Everybody loves the snow don't they? DON'T THEY??? You know what? I don't. I hate the stuff. Why? I shall tell you why.
It has snowed three times here this year. That doesn't sound a lot but let's compare that to another fact. Three times this year I have had to be someone important, somewhere which, if I missed, would affect my future. And you'd never guess what! Those two facts, the snow one and the important places one, both coincided with each other. What are the chances of that???
I don't believe in coincidences, or destiny, or fate, but I do believe that things happen for a reason, but this is beyond a joke. It is not great for a university interview, a rearranged university interview and a grade 8 piano exam when you have to deal with the threat of this vile thing we call snow.
What's even worse is that everyone else gets the day of school, but my college refuses to have days off, which is fine and something that I actually agree to, except for everyone at my college decides not to even bother turning up for their lessons and flaunt this 'achievement' on the social networks of their own regard.
No doubt tonight will be full of people telling me that they went and made snowmen or had a snowball fight whilst I'm stuck here rattling through maths problems and fuming at the college for wasting my time by putting my cover IT lesson in a room where the computers don't have the correct software installed on them and when you confront the cover teacher, who has no idea what they are doing and doesn't hide the fact that they'd rather be somewhere else at all well, over this software matter they shout at you and say you can't leave the lesson early or even go to a room where the software is available.
And... relax
Stay Strong
Michael
Everybody loves the snow don't they? DON'T THEY??? You know what? I don't. I hate the stuff. Why? I shall tell you why.
It has snowed three times here this year. That doesn't sound a lot but let's compare that to another fact. Three times this year I have had to be someone important, somewhere which, if I missed, would affect my future. And you'd never guess what! Those two facts, the snow one and the important places one, both coincided with each other. What are the chances of that???
I don't believe in coincidences, or destiny, or fate, but I do believe that things happen for a reason, but this is beyond a joke. It is not great for a university interview, a rearranged university interview and a grade 8 piano exam when you have to deal with the threat of this vile thing we call snow.
What's even worse is that everyone else gets the day of school, but my college refuses to have days off, which is fine and something that I actually agree to, except for everyone at my college decides not to even bother turning up for their lessons and flaunt this 'achievement' on the social networks of their own regard.
No doubt tonight will be full of people telling me that they went and made snowmen or had a snowball fight whilst I'm stuck here rattling through maths problems and fuming at the college for wasting my time by putting my cover IT lesson in a room where the computers don't have the correct software installed on them and when you confront the cover teacher, who has no idea what they are doing and doesn't hide the fact that they'd rather be somewhere else at all well, over this software matter they shout at you and say you can't leave the lesson early or even go to a room where the software is available.
And... relax
Stay Strong
Michael
Sunday 3 March 2013
A Time To Laugh
Looking back over my recent blogs, there seems to have been a trend. I seem to have written a load of rather depressing blogs about life decisions, the lack of destiny and other things that just seem to be me waffling on about things that really aren't very entertaining. I mean, I'm supposed to be an entertainer after all aren't I?
People don't read this expecting to come out crying, I don't want that. I want people to laugh with me at my life. So let's lighten the mood a little:
Yes... that is me. The sound quality is poor, but I hope you laugh a little at it.
Anyway... what was I going to say. Surely I wrote this with a point other than to plug my Youtube channel and things...
I guess the message is to stay happy. Things may well be going wrong but it's finding the joy in the small things that makes life worth living. I mean, take me at the dentist this week. I had to have a filling and I was dead scared because it was my first one. Thing is, the one thing I was focusing on during that whole ordeal was how much I sounded like Johnny English when they all get injected with that numbing serum and can't pronounce their words properly... and I was quietly laughing to myself.
The little things in your life are usually the most important, most fun, and make you the happiest.
Stay Strong
Michael
People don't read this expecting to come out crying, I don't want that. I want people to laugh with me at my life. So let's lighten the mood a little:
Anyway... what was I going to say. Surely I wrote this with a point other than to plug my Youtube channel and things...
I guess the message is to stay happy. Things may well be going wrong but it's finding the joy in the small things that makes life worth living. I mean, take me at the dentist this week. I had to have a filling and I was dead scared because it was my first one. Thing is, the one thing I was focusing on during that whole ordeal was how much I sounded like Johnny English when they all get injected with that numbing serum and can't pronounce their words properly... and I was quietly laughing to myself.
The little things in your life are usually the most important, most fun, and make you the happiest.
Stay Strong
Michael
Tuesday 26 February 2013
Complexities, Cups and Comfort
Decisions are a complex thing to make. I think our human nature makes these things difficult, but that's natural. We all want things for ourselves yet at the same time we don't want to tread on others toes... to hurt other people.
I've come to a decision because I'm hurting many people. I'm hurting friends, family, me and, above all, the one person I don't want to be hurting, so I need to move on. I'm not going to lie, the last few months have been hell for me but, would I change them for the world? Probably not. I've learned a lot about me and who I am as a person. I've discovered new things about me, some of which I will embrace, others that I will look towards changing.
There's a reason why things are happening to me right now, that's what I believe. They will make me stronger, more caring and an all round better person in the future. I just need to give things a little space and time. "For the greater good" and all that.
On my email I have a status because I use Gmail and you can do that apparently. It currently stands, and has done for a while, as:
This is a quote from "Jesus Christ, Superstar" as Jesus sings to God about not wanting to have to die, because he doesn't want to. I can't recall exactly why or when I put it up there but I feel like this now. I don't want to make this decision, but I am going to because it's for the best for all parties, even for me in the long run. So, that status is going to change to a quote later on in the song, when Jesus finally agrees that he needs to die:
I've come to a decision because I'm hurting many people. I'm hurting friends, family, me and, above all, the one person I don't want to be hurting, so I need to move on. I'm not going to lie, the last few months have been hell for me but, would I change them for the world? Probably not. I've learned a lot about me and who I am as a person. I've discovered new things about me, some of which I will embrace, others that I will look towards changing.
There's a reason why things are happening to me right now, that's what I believe. They will make me stronger, more caring and an all round better person in the future. I just need to give things a little space and time. "For the greater good" and all that.
On my email I have a status because I use Gmail and you can do that apparently. It currently stands, and has done for a while, as:
"Take this cup away from me, for I don't want to taste its poison".
"I will drink your cup of poison. Nail me to your cross and break me, bleed me, beat me, kill me. Take me now before I change my mind."
God help whoever has me on their Gmail and needs to click to see that...
I thought I should leave a little message at the end here, a message of comfort and support. For those who don't know, I have started writing a musical and it is something that I wish to continue doing and eventually finish. I've been writing some of the music recently and one of the songs is nearly finished and, looking back at it, it's near enough a song about me. A song about how I feel so, I thought I should leave a quote from it as a comfort:
"There's always someone more caring or clever, but I'll be a shoulder to cry on whenever you need it"
Stay Strong
Michael
Friday 22 February 2013
A Time for Everything
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:a time to be born and a time to die,a time to plant and a time to uproot,a time to kill and a time to heal,a time to tear down and a time to build,a time to weep and a time to laugh,a time to mourn and a time to dance,a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,a time to search and a time to give up,a time to keep and a time to throw away,a time to tear and a time to mend,a time to be silent and a time to speak,a time to love and a time to hate,a time for war and a time for peace.
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)
I was asked to draw a graph of my life, featuring major ups and downs, today. It was an interesting experience but what was most interesting was the discussion afterwards. I've always thought that I had a positive outlook on life, but I will admit that that has been masked somewhat by experiences in the last few months, but whilst speaking in our groups, I realised that there is so much more I could do to stop the immense downs.
Something I've asked an awful lot recently is "Why me?", and "Why is this happening to me?", but today I learned that, maybe, I should ask, "Why not me?" because I am strong. Everything is a test and we should learn from our downs so that we are prepared for the future.
Another interesting thing I learned was that the most fertile soil is at the foot of a mountain, so things grow better before the mountain climb. This of course is something I don't just mean literally. We can imagine the mountain as the climb up to your high points in life, but we grow more and understand ourselves more when we're at the foot of the mountain.
"When you climb a mountain, that's only half the journey"
Stay Strong
Michael
Tuesday 19 February 2013
And Your Destiny Is...
Does anyone believe in fate, or destiny? The idea that things happen because they are in a fixed order? That events are mapped out by the stars or God or a god of some description?
This is a hard question for me to give an answer to. I believe that we can control our fate. That's probably the best way to describe it. That there is a pathway that we are following, but it has many forks and we choose which fork to go down. I don't believe in coincidences. All things happen for a reason. As the saying goes, "If it's meant to be, then it is meant to be".
I've heard that a lot recently, especially from my mother, but it rings true. Things won't happen if they aren't meant to happen. Even an 'accident' is meant to happen, like if you spill your drink. Next time, you'll know that you should listen to your dad when he tells you not to put the drink on the floor so that, when you stand up, you kick it over. Life is full of all these tests, and lessons.
As I have said, I don't believe in coincidences. If things keep happening to you, then there must be a reason, and there are two things you can do about it. Either you act up so that this thing becomes a regular thing in life, to embrace it as being something that needs to happen, or you try and stop this from happening... but it is not for me to tell you which to do. It depends on the situation and whatever or whoever is involved. I could give a simplistic example...
Say you are a footballer, but you struggle to run fast with the ball. You have two choices. Either you work on that and try to be able to run faster, or you work on other aspects of the game, like passing, so that you don't need to run with the ball. The first part is really looking at the situation and adapting to it, the other is looking at the situation and adapting away from it.
It's not always easy to which was is best, I know that from personal experience. And sometimes you feel as if you don't control your life, that the odds are staked against and the path of life is overgrown and faded, but it really isn't. I would recommend that everyone goes and researches the poem 'Footprints' by Mary Stevenson, it sort of explains what I'm talking about but in a better way (and it's a poem and poems are great).
Oh...and one more thing. If you're reading this, then obviously fate has brought you here so you really should embrace it.
Stay Strong
Michael
This is a hard question for me to give an answer to. I believe that we can control our fate. That's probably the best way to describe it. That there is a pathway that we are following, but it has many forks and we choose which fork to go down. I don't believe in coincidences. All things happen for a reason. As the saying goes, "If it's meant to be, then it is meant to be".
I've heard that a lot recently, especially from my mother, but it rings true. Things won't happen if they aren't meant to happen. Even an 'accident' is meant to happen, like if you spill your drink. Next time, you'll know that you should listen to your dad when he tells you not to put the drink on the floor so that, when you stand up, you kick it over. Life is full of all these tests, and lessons.
As I have said, I don't believe in coincidences. If things keep happening to you, then there must be a reason, and there are two things you can do about it. Either you act up so that this thing becomes a regular thing in life, to embrace it as being something that needs to happen, or you try and stop this from happening... but it is not for me to tell you which to do. It depends on the situation and whatever or whoever is involved. I could give a simplistic example...
Say you are a footballer, but you struggle to run fast with the ball. You have two choices. Either you work on that and try to be able to run faster, or you work on other aspects of the game, like passing, so that you don't need to run with the ball. The first part is really looking at the situation and adapting to it, the other is looking at the situation and adapting away from it.
It's not always easy to which was is best, I know that from personal experience. And sometimes you feel as if you don't control your life, that the odds are staked against and the path of life is overgrown and faded, but it really isn't. I would recommend that everyone goes and researches the poem 'Footprints' by Mary Stevenson, it sort of explains what I'm talking about but in a better way (and it's a poem and poems are great).
Oh...and one more thing. If you're reading this, then obviously fate has brought you here so you really should embrace it.
Stay Strong
Michael
Sunday 17 February 2013
I'm Scared...
I don't know what to do. I've tried writing this for days... weeks even, which is apt considering the topic.
I can't express myself, at all. I try, I really do. I really want to be able to. It might make me happier, more successful. Thing is, when I get asked a question, I crumble, the words escape me and I hide. I hide from the truth because the truth scares me. I'm terrified of my thoughts feelings and emotions because I've seen and experienced how they affect other people, how they affect me.
It doesn't matter how often I play out the conversation in my head, I just can't say the words that I pre-planned. "Maybe you should put them in a song", I hear you say, but I've tried that. I've performed songs for people about them, about how I feel for them. I have one on my shelf right now that I wrote ages ago but never performed. The person doesn't know it exists but it's there alright, and I have the urge to perform it now... I want to play it to them, but I can't.
I guess I can be extremely sentimental. I feel that you can have emotional attachments to objects, songs... most couples have 'a song'. Whenever I write a song, especially if it's about someone, it will always be about that person, even if situations change. Whenever I walk around town, different places remind me of different things. I know it's a bit silly but I could do a guided tour and show you my version of my town. I could show you where a friend spilled a drink, everywhere I've sat with different people and what we talked about, the places I've kissed someone... where I've been dumped. And I look at those places and remember... and cry a little. I never used to cry but I do it a lot more recently.
And I guess that's all I can do to express myself. I can't talk about it, I can't tell people how I feel no matter how much I want to or how much they want me to say it. The simple things hold the biggest meaning and are hardest to say. I wish I wasn't like this, but I am. I often wonder what my life would be like if I was more decisive, if I was more selfish... but I can't be because that is not me. Everyone else comes first. Other people's happiness is far more important than my own and I will do anything to make other people happy, even if it means I suffer because something good is around the corner, right? Karma and all that. The idea that good and selfless deeds are rewarded, even if they aren't rewarded until the next life...
Stay Strong
Michael
I can't express myself, at all. I try, I really do. I really want to be able to. It might make me happier, more successful. Thing is, when I get asked a question, I crumble, the words escape me and I hide. I hide from the truth because the truth scares me. I'm terrified of my thoughts feelings and emotions because I've seen and experienced how they affect other people, how they affect me.
It doesn't matter how often I play out the conversation in my head, I just can't say the words that I pre-planned. "Maybe you should put them in a song", I hear you say, but I've tried that. I've performed songs for people about them, about how I feel for them. I have one on my shelf right now that I wrote ages ago but never performed. The person doesn't know it exists but it's there alright, and I have the urge to perform it now... I want to play it to them, but I can't.
I guess I can be extremely sentimental. I feel that you can have emotional attachments to objects, songs... most couples have 'a song'. Whenever I write a song, especially if it's about someone, it will always be about that person, even if situations change. Whenever I walk around town, different places remind me of different things. I know it's a bit silly but I could do a guided tour and show you my version of my town. I could show you where a friend spilled a drink, everywhere I've sat with different people and what we talked about, the places I've kissed someone... where I've been dumped. And I look at those places and remember... and cry a little. I never used to cry but I do it a lot more recently.
And I guess that's all I can do to express myself. I can't talk about it, I can't tell people how I feel no matter how much I want to or how much they want me to say it. The simple things hold the biggest meaning and are hardest to say. I wish I wasn't like this, but I am. I often wonder what my life would be like if I was more decisive, if I was more selfish... but I can't be because that is not me. Everyone else comes first. Other people's happiness is far more important than my own and I will do anything to make other people happy, even if it means I suffer because something good is around the corner, right? Karma and all that. The idea that good and selfless deeds are rewarded, even if they aren't rewarded until the next life...
Stay Strong
Michael
Sunday 10 February 2013
Lent and Renewing Yourself
The season of Lent is nearly upon us. Many people will be making pancakes on Tuesday in celebration of 'Pancake Day', as it has been commercially dubbed. Shrove Tuesday is the 'proper' term for the day and it marks the last day before Lent when people used to get all their expensive food from their kitchen cupboards and make delicious food out of all of it, such as pancakes.
Lent always starts on Ash Wednesday, named because of the act of placing ashes on the forehead of worshippers as a sign of mourning and repentance of God, and it finishes on Maundy Thursday. In the Christian tradition it's a time for pray and repentance, and trying to review yourself and get a closer 'friendship' with God. Some people fast, like Jesus did, and see this six-week time period as a test of spiritual strength, much like Jesus and the temptations. In secular societies, it's a time for giving something up.
What it's hard to get through to people is that there is a reason for the giving up. What it's supposed to do is allow for more time with God, not to help lose a few pounds. A few years ago at my church we were encouraged to take something new up as a way of exploring and getting a better understanding of the creation that was given to us. This is something I'd much rather see people doing rather than have them giving up chocolate, or fizzy drinks, or sweets for no other reason than "because it's Lent". Go out their and explore the world and all it's glory. Try a new food, take up a new hobby.
What I'm doing is taking up going to a Lent course. The course I'm going to is called "Season of Renewal". It looks at taking traditional elements and combining them with a fresh approach and I believe this is something that we can all do. We can all look at ourselves and see things that need renewing, that need work on. We can all take something from stepping back and taking a look at every aspect of our lives.
For me, I think what you do during Lent has to be something worthwhile, something that will help you in the long term, something that you can carry on doing after Lent and well past Easter. Yes, I know that, when the end of Lent comes, I will no longer be able to go to the Lent course, but I can take the teachings from it and look at going to more courses that can make me look at the spiritual side of me. If all you're going to do at the end of six-weeks is start eating chocolate again, then that was a waste of six-weeks. So that is why I say take something new up because you will be able to take forward a lot more even if you decide to stop doing this new thing.
And so, I'll leave you with the message on a bookmark that came with my Lent course book:
Stay Strong
Michael
Lent always starts on Ash Wednesday, named because of the act of placing ashes on the forehead of worshippers as a sign of mourning and repentance of God, and it finishes on Maundy Thursday. In the Christian tradition it's a time for pray and repentance, and trying to review yourself and get a closer 'friendship' with God. Some people fast, like Jesus did, and see this six-week time period as a test of spiritual strength, much like Jesus and the temptations. In secular societies, it's a time for giving something up.
What it's hard to get through to people is that there is a reason for the giving up. What it's supposed to do is allow for more time with God, not to help lose a few pounds. A few years ago at my church we were encouraged to take something new up as a way of exploring and getting a better understanding of the creation that was given to us. This is something I'd much rather see people doing rather than have them giving up chocolate, or fizzy drinks, or sweets for no other reason than "because it's Lent". Go out their and explore the world and all it's glory. Try a new food, take up a new hobby.
What I'm doing is taking up going to a Lent course. The course I'm going to is called "Season of Renewal". It looks at taking traditional elements and combining them with a fresh approach and I believe this is something that we can all do. We can all look at ourselves and see things that need renewing, that need work on. We can all take something from stepping back and taking a look at every aspect of our lives.
For me, I think what you do during Lent has to be something worthwhile, something that will help you in the long term, something that you can carry on doing after Lent and well past Easter. Yes, I know that, when the end of Lent comes, I will no longer be able to go to the Lent course, but I can take the teachings from it and look at going to more courses that can make me look at the spiritual side of me. If all you're going to do at the end of six-weeks is start eating chocolate again, then that was a waste of six-weeks. So that is why I say take something new up because you will be able to take forward a lot more even if you decide to stop doing this new thing.
And so, I'll leave you with the message on a bookmark that came with my Lent course book:
Lent is a time for...
Loving God more,
Saying sorry,
Finding hope and forgiveness,
Cleaning up our lives and
Making new beginnings.
Stay Strong
Michael
Thursday 7 February 2013
Be Prepared! - Valentine's Plans
It's a week now until Valentine's Day and you have those special arrangements sorted for that special someone, right? No? Why is that? Can't you be bothered, or do you not have any ideas? Or, like me, don't you have that 'someone'?
I have plans. That's right. Okay, admittedly they do involve me spending the night bashing through some jazz standards on a crummy community hall piano for a bunch of elderly women, but they are plans none the less.
If you were reading this hoping that I might be able to give some good advice, you're probably going to be disappointed. See, I know the theory behind relationships and dating, but not how to put it into practice. I'm like a painter who knows that blue and yellow mix to make green but, whenever I actually try to make that green, I can never get the perfect green.
Things is, you shouldn't really need to go out and impress the person you're with with fancy meals and flowers and chocolates. They should be impressed by who you are... and they are impressed. I was talking to a friend recently who was saying that they don't think the person they are with was impressed enough by them, that they weren't enough for this person. This person was wrong. I know the person they are with extremely well and could see that this person meant everything to them. You don't need fancy flowers, cards or meals... just three simple words that have a lot of meaning and power to them.
I have played for a number of church weddings at my church, and the priest usually mentioned the same phrase every time:
"Tell the person that you love that you love them at least once a day"
It's not profound, witty or even moral based. It's just simple and easy to do. That is a phrase that I live by, and we should all live by. It doesn't matter who that person is, just tell them. It doesn't take long to say those three words, eight letters, five vowels, three consonants... It doesn't need to be that 'special someone' either. Tell your mum, your dad, siblings, friends...
I love you
Stay Strong
Michael
I have plans. That's right. Okay, admittedly they do involve me spending the night bashing through some jazz standards on a crummy community hall piano for a bunch of elderly women, but they are plans none the less.
If you were reading this hoping that I might be able to give some good advice, you're probably going to be disappointed. See, I know the theory behind relationships and dating, but not how to put it into practice. I'm like a painter who knows that blue and yellow mix to make green but, whenever I actually try to make that green, I can never get the perfect green.
Things is, you shouldn't really need to go out and impress the person you're with with fancy meals and flowers and chocolates. They should be impressed by who you are... and they are impressed. I was talking to a friend recently who was saying that they don't think the person they are with was impressed enough by them, that they weren't enough for this person. This person was wrong. I know the person they are with extremely well and could see that this person meant everything to them. You don't need fancy flowers, cards or meals... just three simple words that have a lot of meaning and power to them.
I have played for a number of church weddings at my church, and the priest usually mentioned the same phrase every time:
"Tell the person that you love that you love them at least once a day"
It's not profound, witty or even moral based. It's just simple and easy to do. That is a phrase that I live by, and we should all live by. It doesn't matter who that person is, just tell them. It doesn't take long to say those three words, eight letters, five vowels, three consonants... It doesn't need to be that 'special someone' either. Tell your mum, your dad, siblings, friends...
I love you
Stay Strong
Michael
Wednesday 6 February 2013
Role Models
Role models are the people that we look up to, who inspire us and who we... I want to say 'idolise' but I think that's taking it too far. Many people have 'celebrity' role models. Some of these are based on a chosen field that they are involved in. I know that I have many people who I admire in the field of music, both composers and performers alike. However, I personally think that it is the people that are around us, who we know, that are the best role models.
Parents and teachers are often seen as role models, mainly because they are with us and support us from an early age. We have to trust them for it is they who give us the basis for the rest of our lives. As far as you know, your primary school teacher may well have been teaching you the alphabet wrongly... but we don't question it. It would be wrong to.
Our friends are probably the greatest role models we can have, because you get to pick them. I'm not saying that we should all give into peer pressure, but I really do have some great friends who inspire me, who are the reason I get up in the morning with a smile on my face no matter what has happened to me. Role models should encourage us, and my friends really do.
One of my closest friends is amazing at this. She doesn't know how much she inspires me with her strength in all the ways that you can judge strength (yes, she has a killer punch... believe me) and no matter what has happened she has been there for me, even when I've been a complete idiot. She has helped me get back to some form of sanity and happiness after the lowest I have been, and I know that I've caused her trouble along the way, but she has stood by me. She's my 'Peter' (that's not her name by the way because that would be a silly name for a girl. In Hebrew, 'Peter' means 'Rock', much like how 'Michael' means 'Who is like the Lord', but that's another story).
I don't see myself as a role model, even though I know I am to some people (a.k.a. idiots). Even when I entered the 'big year' at my schools and we were told irrefutably that we were role models for the other years, it seemed weird that someone would want to imitate what I did. I even have my disclaimer at the top of this blog telling people not to do what I do. But I am a role model. Numerous people have told me that they want to be able to play piano like me, or that they admire certain aspects of my personality and the thought scares me a little, but I'm learning to embrace it. It's like going first on an assault course. You have no idea what is ahead of you and everyone else is following you and copying your every move, seeing if they can improve upon it when you make a mistake. The only thing being, as the first person, you get all the fun of the experimenting and the challenge of the unexpected.
We are all role models, so let us all take turns in tackling the assault course first one at a time.
And a big THANK YOU to everyone I know. You all inspire me so much with your support, and a special thank you goes out to Kung Fu Panda! (Yes, you know who you are!)
Stay Strong
Michael
Parents and teachers are often seen as role models, mainly because they are with us and support us from an early age. We have to trust them for it is they who give us the basis for the rest of our lives. As far as you know, your primary school teacher may well have been teaching you the alphabet wrongly... but we don't question it. It would be wrong to.
Our friends are probably the greatest role models we can have, because you get to pick them. I'm not saying that we should all give into peer pressure, but I really do have some great friends who inspire me, who are the reason I get up in the morning with a smile on my face no matter what has happened to me. Role models should encourage us, and my friends really do.
One of my closest friends is amazing at this. She doesn't know how much she inspires me with her strength in all the ways that you can judge strength (yes, she has a killer punch... believe me) and no matter what has happened she has been there for me, even when I've been a complete idiot. She has helped me get back to some form of sanity and happiness after the lowest I have been, and I know that I've caused her trouble along the way, but she has stood by me. She's my 'Peter' (that's not her name by the way because that would be a silly name for a girl. In Hebrew, 'Peter' means 'Rock', much like how 'Michael' means 'Who is like the Lord', but that's another story).
I don't see myself as a role model, even though I know I am to some people (a.k.a. idiots). Even when I entered the 'big year' at my schools and we were told irrefutably that we were role models for the other years, it seemed weird that someone would want to imitate what I did. I even have my disclaimer at the top of this blog telling people not to do what I do. But I am a role model. Numerous people have told me that they want to be able to play piano like me, or that they admire certain aspects of my personality and the thought scares me a little, but I'm learning to embrace it. It's like going first on an assault course. You have no idea what is ahead of you and everyone else is following you and copying your every move, seeing if they can improve upon it when you make a mistake. The only thing being, as the first person, you get all the fun of the experimenting and the challenge of the unexpected.
We are all role models, so let us all take turns in tackling the assault course first one at a time.
And a big THANK YOU to everyone I know. You all inspire me so much with your support, and a special thank you goes out to Kung Fu Panda! (Yes, you know who you are!)
Stay Strong
Michael
Monday 4 February 2013
Reviewing Reviews
Review:
Noun
- an examination of something to decide whether changes are necessary
- a critical assessment of a book, play, etc.
- a report of an event that has already happened
- a ceremonial display of military forces
Verb
- examine or consider something again
- write a review of
Yes, that seems like a weird beginning to a blog, quoting my newly found little OED at you, but there is a point. Reviews are judgements or opinions on movies, music, comedians, books... and people. They can help us make up our minds about things, or prepare us. Many people will look at reviews for the latest films or games before they watch them or purchase them in order to find out what they are about and how good they are (something that I should I done before I went to see 'Lincoln' the other day. It's a good film but I probably should have read around the subject before going to watch the film).
The point is, we all make judgements and have opinions of things, and they do all conflict. It doesn't matter what it is, there will be differences. Whether it be the best song, best Disney film, best sport... all of us will have a different idea that we are passionate about, but it doesn't mean that those views are right. I try and get a balanced view of everything. It's like when a teacher asks for both sides of the story after a fight. They just want to make a fair and balanced judgement on the situation. The only problem with this is that the more you know, the harder it becomes to make up your mind. This is the whole topic for the song entitled "The Fence" by Tim Minchin. He sings about how it is easier to see the difference between two conflicting views if you do sit on the metaphorical fence.
We should all "first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:5) Basically, look at yourself before you judge others. We all have imperfections, flaws, no matter who we are. Practice what you preach. Don't tell someone that they need to 'check their spelling' when your spelling is awful. Don't let the Hypocrisy Hippo enter the room. Maybe then we will all be able to get on a lot better with each other and improve as a race...
So, here's the challenge. Review yourself and send that review to someone you know, then get them to review themselves and do the same. Then write reviews about each other and compare notes. You might learn things about yourself and the other person by doing this. Just make sure you're honest and don't hide things, even if you hate their crooked nose, walking style, or hair style...
Oh... and no self-loathing! (Yes, I know who you are you self-loathers!)
Stay Strong
Michael
Sunday 3 February 2013
The Sacredness of Words
As I have mentioned in this blog before, I think that words are powerful; that the alphabet in every language is sacred. And if the letters themselves are sacred therefore we can conclude that what they make up (i.e. words) are also sacred.
I've been reading a book called "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak. It's a very good book set in the time of Nazi rule over Germany. Of course, as expected in a book narrated by 'Death' and set in this time, there will be a lot of death and include mentions to the prejudices against Jews and the like however, there is one scene that really upsets me. It's when the Nazis gather up all books that mention Jewish people... and burn them. Why would you do that??? Why would you burn a book???
I don't care what the book is about, you shouldn't burn them at all, under any circumstance. I mean, really? What good does it do? Think of how long it took each author to write that book, to craft their chosen language into a certain way. Then think of the amount of people who have to have read it and liked it in order for it to be published. You might not agree with what the book talks about, but that doesn't mean that, to someone, it is not sacred. Whether it be The Bible, Harry Potter, The Mr. Men and Little Miss books, Thomas the Tank Engine, The Oxford English Dictionary... even Twilight, those words mean something to someone and you should respect that.
End of the day, what does burning a book achieve? We have the invention of the printing press and, later on, the internet which make these sacred words indestructible. It's like all those women who would burn their bras when the protested for equality. After the adrenaline of the symbolic moment is over, all you're left with is a pile of ashes and unsupported boobs...
And on that note, I must leave to burn "The Book Thief"...
Stay Strong
Michael
I've been reading a book called "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak. It's a very good book set in the time of Nazi rule over Germany. Of course, as expected in a book narrated by 'Death' and set in this time, there will be a lot of death and include mentions to the prejudices against Jews and the like however, there is one scene that really upsets me. It's when the Nazis gather up all books that mention Jewish people... and burn them. Why would you do that??? Why would you burn a book???
I don't care what the book is about, you shouldn't burn them at all, under any circumstance. I mean, really? What good does it do? Think of how long it took each author to write that book, to craft their chosen language into a certain way. Then think of the amount of people who have to have read it and liked it in order for it to be published. You might not agree with what the book talks about, but that doesn't mean that, to someone, it is not sacred. Whether it be The Bible, Harry Potter, The Mr. Men and Little Miss books, Thomas the Tank Engine, The Oxford English Dictionary... even Twilight, those words mean something to someone and you should respect that.
End of the day, what does burning a book achieve? We have the invention of the printing press and, later on, the internet which make these sacred words indestructible. It's like all those women who would burn their bras when the protested for equality. After the adrenaline of the symbolic moment is over, all you're left with is a pile of ashes and unsupported boobs...
And on that note, I must leave to burn "The Book Thief"...
Stay Strong
Michael
Thursday 31 January 2013
Paranoia or Paranormal?
We often think about and speak about things that go bump in the night, of creatures that live under our beds, of the monster that dwells in our cupboard and is hidden by our old, moth-eaten clothes, but do they really exist...?
Recently I've been hearing a noise in my room at night. It's a sort of scratching/tapping noise yet, whenever I go to investigate with my most heroic adventurer mentality, it stops. At first I thought it might have been my brother on his laptop. This seemed like a feasible idea due to his keenness in computer gaming on his laptop but, alas, it was not him. I checked. I went up to his bed, but he was fast asleep and his laptop was on the desk next to his bed with the lid closed. There was no way that anything could have been tapping at his laptop. Then I thought, "Maybe it's something on my laptop?" Again, this was not the case.
The trouble was that I could not for the life of me pinpoint the location of the sound. By this time, it was freaking me out and getting me stressed. It was keeping me up at night and, more worryingly, there seemed to be a pattern... The noise would start at 1:30am every night. This worried me highly. My mind rushed towards thinking of aliens and the paranormal... and those monsters I mentioned earlier. I briefly thought of mice, but I put that conclusion to bed after some daylight investigating showed no evidence of this.
The noise has stopped now. I haven't heard it for a couple of days, ever since I mentioned it to mum. This has lead me to think it was all in the mind. No one else heard it. I even put a recording device on to try and record it however, nothing showed up (admittedly this was the night after the last time I heard the noise).
A lot of our fears are in our minds, from spiders to the dark, from heights to snakes, from shoes to cheese... The human mind is powerful and is responsible for the creation of these monsters under the bed that we need to fight. I just hope my monster doesn't come and... AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Recently I've been hearing a noise in my room at night. It's a sort of scratching/tapping noise yet, whenever I go to investigate with my most heroic adventurer mentality, it stops. At first I thought it might have been my brother on his laptop. This seemed like a feasible idea due to his keenness in computer gaming on his laptop but, alas, it was not him. I checked. I went up to his bed, but he was fast asleep and his laptop was on the desk next to his bed with the lid closed. There was no way that anything could have been tapping at his laptop. Then I thought, "Maybe it's something on my laptop?" Again, this was not the case.
The trouble was that I could not for the life of me pinpoint the location of the sound. By this time, it was freaking me out and getting me stressed. It was keeping me up at night and, more worryingly, there seemed to be a pattern... The noise would start at 1:30am every night. This worried me highly. My mind rushed towards thinking of aliens and the paranormal... and those monsters I mentioned earlier. I briefly thought of mice, but I put that conclusion to bed after some daylight investigating showed no evidence of this.
The noise has stopped now. I haven't heard it for a couple of days, ever since I mentioned it to mum. This has lead me to think it was all in the mind. No one else heard it. I even put a recording device on to try and record it however, nothing showed up (admittedly this was the night after the last time I heard the noise).
A lot of our fears are in our minds, from spiders to the dark, from heights to snakes, from shoes to cheese... The human mind is powerful and is responsible for the creation of these monsters under the bed that we need to fight. I just hope my monster doesn't come and... AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Monday 28 January 2013
I NEED A SCRIPT!
Just read the title. I need a script.
This isn't going to be one of my usual blog entries where I try and preach about the world and make ridiculous connections between stuff. This entry is more of a plea. I need something to do...
For a number of years now I have wanted to write a musical. Musicals are a huge passion of mine and I've always wanted to write one. Even before I started composing I wanted to write a musical. I love the idea that a story can be told in song form and that a standard stage play can convey more emotion and become more appealing to an audience through the use of music.
When I first thought about wanting to write a musical, I came up with a story line. From what I remember, it was a story about a young girl who was the daughter to a pirate captain. I had a vague idea for a story, and a couple of lyrical ideas, but no music. At this stage I had never written any music whatsoever so a musical was, of course, going to be a huge challenge with me having to write songs that are different and match the mood for that part of the story, as well as having certain themes repeated. It just wasn't going to happen.
Then, about a year ago, I had another idea. This time I also had a vague plot outline. The show was going to be based within a music theatre group (a bit High School Musical meets Glee) and include lots of inner feuds which would give me space to explore themes and melodies. The difference this time was that I actually wrote some music. To this day I have two songs from this written; one being a love song between the two young leads ("I Think I'm In Love") and an angry feud song between the music director and the choreographer ("The Singing's More Important Than The Dancing"). My major problem was that I didn't having anything concrete to work on, or any time to work on it so, I scrapped the idea.
Now I find myself craving a project like this. I've spent ages researching how to go about this and I believe that I am musically reading to tackle a project like this. I just need the storyline. I'm no good with words and actually getting something written down, and the best way to go about this is to have a written script with all the written dialogue and then places marked out for possible songs.
So, here's the idea. Someone writes a script for me, or gives me a script that they've already written, so that I can turn it into a musical. I would be more than willing to work with you on the project, so that we can bounce ideas off and so you can stop me from potentially ruining your masterpiece. In return, I will of course credit you for the script (and storyline) and try and get this actually performed. I have contacts in local theatre companies who are always looking for new plays or musicals to put on.
I am willing to put in a lot of time and energy into such a project, I just need something to work with. If you are interested in helping me in any way, please leave a comment or something (or tweet me @winmusic28). Thank you
Stay Strong
Michael
This isn't going to be one of my usual blog entries where I try and preach about the world and make ridiculous connections between stuff. This entry is more of a plea. I need something to do...
For a number of years now I have wanted to write a musical. Musicals are a huge passion of mine and I've always wanted to write one. Even before I started composing I wanted to write a musical. I love the idea that a story can be told in song form and that a standard stage play can convey more emotion and become more appealing to an audience through the use of music.
Then, about a year ago, I had another idea. This time I also had a vague plot outline. The show was going to be based within a music theatre group (a bit High School Musical meets Glee) and include lots of inner feuds which would give me space to explore themes and melodies. The difference this time was that I actually wrote some music. To this day I have two songs from this written; one being a love song between the two young leads ("I Think I'm In Love") and an angry feud song between the music director and the choreographer ("The Singing's More Important Than The Dancing"). My major problem was that I didn't having anything concrete to work on, or any time to work on it so, I scrapped the idea.
Now I find myself craving a project like this. I've spent ages researching how to go about this and I believe that I am musically reading to tackle a project like this. I just need the storyline. I'm no good with words and actually getting something written down, and the best way to go about this is to have a written script with all the written dialogue and then places marked out for possible songs.
I am willing to put in a lot of time and energy into such a project, I just need something to work with. If you are interested in helping me in any way, please leave a comment or something (or tweet me @winmusic28). Thank you
Stay Strong
Michael
Sunday 27 January 2013
Musicals, Socialising and Top Gs
"I wish life was like a musical"
That is a phrase that I have heard all too often, and have said myself on a number of occasions. Musicals seem to offer us the an image of hope, that you can sing off any emotions and feelings. Wouldn't life be better if we eased our way through it accompanied by some Andrew Lloyd-Webber and Tim Rice, or Rodgers and Hammerstein? You've got a new friend who joins your little friendship group and suddenly your whole group and everyone around you breaks into "Consider Yourself" from Oliver, or you have some news to tell everyone so everyone starts singing "What's The Buzz?" from Jesus Christ Superstar.
There is a song for every occasion. They can range from "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" (Spamalot) to "Close Every Door To Me" (Joseph), all of which convey different emotions and, I believe, we can all relate to.
Unfortunately, life isn't as simple as a musical. There is no script. Everyone is singing different words to different tunes and it's all very confusing. Sometimes I just want to stand up in front of everyone and just belt out a load of top Gs (the highest I can really sing before things get bad) using angry sounding words and melodies. Things like:
That is a phrase that I have heard all too often, and have said myself on a number of occasions. Musicals seem to offer us the an image of hope, that you can sing off any emotions and feelings. Wouldn't life be better if we eased our way through it accompanied by some Andrew Lloyd-Webber and Tim Rice, or Rodgers and Hammerstein? You've got a new friend who joins your little friendship group and suddenly your whole group and everyone around you breaks into "Consider Yourself" from Oliver, or you have some news to tell everyone so everyone starts singing "What's The Buzz?" from Jesus Christ Superstar.
Unfortunately, life isn't as simple as a musical. There is no script. Everyone is singing different words to different tunes and it's all very confusing. Sometimes I just want to stand up in front of everyone and just belt out a load of top Gs (the highest I can really sing before things get bad) using angry sounding words and melodies. Things like:
It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying
That a man like you can waste his time on women of her kind.
Yes, I can understand that she amuses,
But to let her stroke you, kiss your hair, that's hardly in your line.
It's not that I object to her profession,
But she doesn't fit in well with what you teach and say.
It doesn't help us if you're inconsistent.
hey only need a small excuse to put us all away.
Or even:
Stay Strong
Michael
I don't know how to love him
I don't know why he moves me
He's a man
He's just a man
He's not a king
He's just the same
As anyone I know
He scares me so!
When he's cold and dead
Will he let me be?
Does he love me too?
Does he care for me?
People annoy me so much, especially people around my age. I was at a Burns Night event last night (which is a Scottish thing filled with eating and dancing) and I really enjoyed it. There was no one there my age so I had no one to impress as such. Yes, it might have been nice if there were one or two people who were my age but I prefer the company of older people. They won't try and change you, or judge you for who you aren't. They'll be kind to you no matter what your creed, background or ideologies. We all think that the older generation are narrow minded and don't look at new things, but maybe it is us youngster who actually have the tunnel vision. That's the problem with the youth of today. They see what they want and will try and get it, no matter what. And that is why I occasionally want to go and have an angry vocal rant at them...
You sad pathetic man - see where you've brought us to
Our ideals die around us and all because of you
But the saddest cut of all -
Someone has to turn you in
Like a common criminal, like a wounded animal
A jaded mandarin
A jaded mandarin
Like a jaded, faded, faded, jaded, jaded mandarin
Stay Strong
Michael
Friday 25 January 2013
TURBO TANGO!
This, my friends, is the future.
Imagine your common spray deodorant, or hairspray, or squirty cream. Now, instead of the deodorant, hairspray or squirty cream, you have orange flavoured tango. Turbo Tango is born.
Yes, it's a bizarre concept. I only came across it today when I was with a small group of friends, one of which decided to buy this drink. After the usual mickey-taking and general joking around the product, myself and another friend decided we had to give it a try. £1.50 each later, we returned with our own Turbo Tangos.
It works using aerosol technology and the idea is that you squirt the drink into your mouth. As expected with a group of teenage lads, this lead to an awful lot of innuendo which was helped an awful lot by the packaging around the bottle. Such slogans such as "Squirt it into your gob (and nowhere else)" and "Warning! This could explode in your hand" cannot be taken lightly by teenage lads.
This really got me thinking about how everyone is trying something new, trying to break the mold and be different and unique. Imagine what the meeting must have been like when they were discussing this... quite barmy I would have thought. And I wonder how long it'll take before other companies start using this idea, or coming up with other ideas.
The world's an amazing place, filled with amazing things and amazing people. We all come up with ideas, some better than others. If something as crazy as this can get on the shelves, then anything can. In my view, it's a bit of a gimmick designed for teenagers who can't be bothered to tilt their head as they drink but then again all inventions must have seemed gimmicky at the start. Sliced bread was just cutting the slicing stage out for the consumer, the car just got you places without the need to walk, the calculator to work out equations faster. They all must have been considered gimmicks when they first were invented, and now look at them!!!
I guess I should rate this product out of 5... I give it 4/5.
Stay Strong
Michael
P.S. If anyone from tango have read this, yes I will accept a crate full of turbo tango as payment for this advertising.
Imagine your common spray deodorant, or hairspray, or squirty cream. Now, instead of the deodorant, hairspray or squirty cream, you have orange flavoured tango. Turbo Tango is born.
It works using aerosol technology and the idea is that you squirt the drink into your mouth. As expected with a group of teenage lads, this lead to an awful lot of innuendo which was helped an awful lot by the packaging around the bottle. Such slogans such as "Squirt it into your gob (and nowhere else)" and "Warning! This could explode in your hand" cannot be taken lightly by teenage lads.
The world's an amazing place, filled with amazing things and amazing people. We all come up with ideas, some better than others. If something as crazy as this can get on the shelves, then anything can. In my view, it's a bit of a gimmick designed for teenagers who can't be bothered to tilt their head as they drink but then again all inventions must have seemed gimmicky at the start. Sliced bread was just cutting the slicing stage out for the consumer, the car just got you places without the need to walk, the calculator to work out equations faster. They all must have been considered gimmicks when they first were invented, and now look at them!!!
I guess I should rate this product out of 5... I give it 4/5.
Michael
P.S. If anyone from tango have read this, yes I will accept a crate full of turbo tango as payment for this advertising.
Thursday 24 January 2013
My Name In Lights!!!
But I've been told that it's going to happen. "If you don't make it, then there is no hope for the rest of us" is something that has been said to me. I don't think of myself as hugely talented, but people seem to think that I am and I've had some amazing opportunities thrown my way. Opportunities that have got me recognised. Before Christmas I was downtown in the amazing town that is Worthing, and as I was waiting for a lift from my regular taxi service (a.k.a. Dad) I got recognised on two separate occasions by people who I had no idea who they were. They didn't know my name as such but the recognised my face and had seen me do my act (which generally involves attacking pianos by jumping on them and stamping on them, and bizarre piano duets that have in the past involved swapping positions and sitting on shoulders/laps).
I have never gone out to seek credit for what I do. I hate the idea of getting rewards for doing something that I want to do and enjoy doing. I know that sounds weird. I shall phrase it differently. When I play at a gig or a concert, I want to go out there and give it my all. Each performance has to be better than the last. But I don't go in expecting something in return. That performance might be my last one. So when I finish a concert and people come up to me and give me praise, or I get personalised letters or emails saying how great the show was, or even the prospect of another concert, I get overwhelmed and pleased with myself.
I don't go out to advertise myself, or offer to do concerts. It's word of mouth that has helped me out so far. I really want to get out there and do more composing and performing. I absolutely love it. At some point, I might get my big break. I refuse to participate in things like the XFactor or Britain's Got Talent because I'm not a fan of the 'instant celebrity'. I much more admire the people who have worked hard throughout their life's and deserve the attention and praise they get. I will keep mentioning him and say that Tim Minchin is one of those guys. He spent years and years refining his act in Australia and decided that he would have a shot at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. After that, he finally got recognised and all that hard work paid off.
To me, every concert that I play has my name in lights. Whether it be a small pub gig, a college concert or a large concert in a local theatre, each one is as important as the rest. So, keep an eye out for me. Obviously I would love to be playing in packed out arenas in the future, but I would be equally as happy if I played at the local pub every Thursday night. End of the day, I enjoy what I do and will keep doing it no matter what the circumstance.
Stay Strong
Michael
Wednesday 23 January 2013
Eight Bars Of Beauty
I composed some music today. Well, I did some composing towards the end goal of composing the second of two compositions required for my A-level in music. To many of you, it probably looks like complete nonsense. Just dots. To me, this is ten years of work.
When I say "ten years of work", I don't actually mean that this has taken me ten years. I should probably have said that my life has been building up to those bars. I started learning to play and read music ten years ago, and I say that I've been properly composing for over a year now. It's probably more like two or three years but I say a year because that is when I've really started to enjoy composing and do it for fun.
At the beginning, my compositions were a bit rubbish. I would stray away from complex rhythms and complex harmonies because I feared them and had no idea what I was doing. Gradually, I have become more confident and I have experimented and these bars are the result.
I have a message here I think. Don't give up. Don't give up on what you enjoy doing. Persistence is key. Experiment. Break the rules. Every great thing starts off small. Roald Dahl had to learn to hold his pen before he wrote his books. Pythagoras had to learn to count before he came up with his triangle theorem. Mozart had to... let's discount Mozart because anyone who can compose music at the age of five is destroying this well thought out point.
So what I'm trying to say is that a lot of work has gone into these eight bars of beauty, just like a lot of work went in the 'Theory of Relativity' and 'Hamlet'. Keep doing what you're doing and you'll learn new things and experience new experiences in order to write your own metaphorical bars of beauty (or literal if you are actually a composer yourself)
Stay Strong
Michael
N.B. I OWN ALL RIGHTS TO THAT MUSIC. ANY COPYING WITHOUT PERMISSION IS PROHIBITED
When I say "ten years of work", I don't actually mean that this has taken me ten years. I should probably have said that my life has been building up to those bars. I started learning to play and read music ten years ago, and I say that I've been properly composing for over a year now. It's probably more like two or three years but I say a year because that is when I've really started to enjoy composing and do it for fun.
At the beginning, my compositions were a bit rubbish. I would stray away from complex rhythms and complex harmonies because I feared them and had no idea what I was doing. Gradually, I have become more confident and I have experimented and these bars are the result.
I have a message here I think. Don't give up. Don't give up on what you enjoy doing. Persistence is key. Experiment. Break the rules. Every great thing starts off small. Roald Dahl had to learn to hold his pen before he wrote his books. Pythagoras had to learn to count before he came up with his triangle theorem. Mozart had to... let's discount Mozart because anyone who can compose music at the age of five is destroying this well thought out point.
So what I'm trying to say is that a lot of work has gone into these eight bars of beauty, just like a lot of work went in the 'Theory of Relativity' and 'Hamlet'. Keep doing what you're doing and you'll learn new things and experience new experiences in order to write your own metaphorical bars of beauty (or literal if you are actually a composer yourself)
Stay Strong
Michael
N.B. I OWN ALL RIGHTS TO THAT MUSIC. ANY COPYING WITHOUT PERMISSION IS PROHIBITED
Tuesday 22 January 2013
Regret
We all regret. Ironically that is probably something that we regret; regretting that is. We regret our mistakes, or missed opportunities. I wrote a song about it (If Only I Had) but that is unimportant, except for the cheap and shameless plug.
Woody Allen once said that "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else". I agree with him (whilst trying not to sing Tim Minchin's "Woody Allen Jesus"). I regret not being someone else. In my head there's this guy, an amazing guy, who I want to be. He lives a parallel life to me and faces the exact same decisions that I have to make . What makes him amazing is that he makes the right decisions and is successful in every way (he even decided to take Decision 1 maths instead of Mechanics 2 which is unsurprisingly a decision that I failed at making correctly). And I can see what his future looks like. He's playing in front of packed out arenas with a full orchestra backing. He enters the arena from the ceiling. He's everything that I want to be. Sometimes, I bridge the gap between us, or I outdo him. It's at those times that I am truly happy. Then there are moments when I fail to match him, and he stands there, laughing.
Thing is, we should be the person we want to be. In 'Matilda The Musical' the character Matilda sings that "Just because I find myself in this story, it doesn't mean that everything is written for me". You can change your 'fate'. You can be that amazing person in your head. We can't be perfect, but we can be close to it.
I fear that I might be filling this blog with a load of Tim Minchin quotes (this will probably be a continual trend) but I thought I'd leave you with the final verse from his song entitled "Not Perfect":
Woody Allen once said that "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else". I agree with him (whilst trying not to sing Tim Minchin's "Woody Allen Jesus"). I regret not being someone else. In my head there's this guy, an amazing guy, who I want to be. He lives a parallel life to me and faces the exact same decisions that I have to make . What makes him amazing is that he makes the right decisions and is successful in every way (he even decided to take Decision 1 maths instead of Mechanics 2 which is unsurprisingly a decision that I failed at making correctly). And I can see what his future looks like. He's playing in front of packed out arenas with a full orchestra backing. He enters the arena from the ceiling. He's everything that I want to be. Sometimes, I bridge the gap between us, or I outdo him. It's at those times that I am truly happy. Then there are moments when I fail to match him, and he stands there, laughing.
Thing is, we should be the person we want to be. In 'Matilda The Musical' the character Matilda sings that "Just because I find myself in this story, it doesn't mean that everything is written for me". You can change your 'fate'. You can be that amazing person in your head. We can't be perfect, but we can be close to it.
I fear that I might be filling this blog with a load of Tim Minchin quotes (this will probably be a continual trend) but I thought I'd leave you with the final verse from his song entitled "Not Perfect":
This is my brain
And I live in it
It’s made of love
And bad song lyrics
It’s tucked away behind my eyes
Where all my screwed up thoughts can hide
Cos God forbid I hurt somebody
And the weirdest thing about a mind
Is that every answer that you find
Is the basis of a brand new cliché
This is my brain
And it’s fine
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time
It’s not perfect
But it’s mine
It’s not perfect
I’m not quite sure I’ve worked out how to work it
It’s not perfect
But it’s mine
And I live in it
It’s made of love
And bad song lyrics
It’s tucked away behind my eyes
Where all my screwed up thoughts can hide
Cos God forbid I hurt somebody
And the weirdest thing about a mind
Is that every answer that you find
Is the basis of a brand new cliché
This is my brain
And it’s fine
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time
It’s not perfect
But it’s mine
It’s not perfect
I’m not quite sure I’ve worked out how to work it
It’s not perfect
But it’s mine
Stay Strong
Michael
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