Regret

We all regret. Ironically that is probably something that we regret; regretting that is.  We regret our mistakes, or missed opportunities.  I wrote a song about it (If Only I Had) but that is unimportant, except for the cheap and shameless plug.

Woody Allen once said that "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else". I agree with him (whilst trying not to sing Tim Minchin's "Woody Allen Jesus"). I regret not being someone else.  In my head there's this guy, an amazing guy, who I want to be. He lives a parallel life to me and faces the exact same decisions that I have to make . What makes him amazing is that he makes the right decisions and is successful in every way (he even decided to take Decision 1 maths instead of Mechanics 2 which is unsurprisingly a decision that I failed at making correctly). And I can see what his future looks like.  He's playing in front of packed out arenas with a full orchestra backing. He enters the arena from the ceiling. He's everything that I want to be.  Sometimes, I bridge the gap between us, or I outdo him. It's at those times that I am truly happy. Then there are moments when I fail to match him, and he stands there, laughing.

Thing is, we should be the person we want to be. In 'Matilda The Musical' the character Matilda sings that "Just because I find myself in this story, it doesn't mean that everything is written for me".  You can change your 'fate'. You can be that amazing person in your head.  We can't be perfect, but we can be close to it.

I fear that I might be filling this blog with a load of Tim Minchin quotes (this will probably be a continual trend) but I thought I'd leave you with the final verse from his song entitled "Not Perfect":

This is my brain
And I live in it
It’s made of love
And bad song lyrics
It’s tucked away behind my eyes
Where all my screwed up thoughts can hide
Cos God forbid I hurt somebody
And the weirdest thing about a mind
Is that every answer that you find
Is the basis of a brand new cliché
This is my brain
And it’s fine
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time
It’s not perfect
But it’s mine
It’s not perfect
I’m not quite sure I’ve worked out how to work it
It’s not perfect
But it’s mine 

Stay Strong

Michael