Can you really be friends with your ex?

I am writing this because I find the topic fascinating.  My friend Sophie wrote about it in her blog and I thought I should have a go at answering this question.

In simple terms, yes and no. Yes, you can be friends with your ex, or an ex.  God forbid me talking about my relationships and all the trimmings that come with them, but I have become great friends with I person I once went out with. Admittedly the actual relationship didn't last very long, but I can now safely consider her as one of my closest friends; a person that I can easily confide in.

On the other hand, I personally am finding it hard to become friends with a person I recently dated. This relationship lasted much longer than the one that I just mention, a whole four months which I know isn't very long at all, but this is me we're talking about so any relationship that lasts past the first five minutes is a success.  It's harder because I find myself, a lot like Sophie in her blog, getting angry. 

I guess it's a tool I use, the anger, because I found myself being in love with this individual, like truly in love. I thought she was amazing. And it hurt an awful lot when she decided to end it. I still don't really agree with the reasoning, but I've learned to accept it. I have to.  I know it's wrong, but the anger helps to an extent. It makes me look at all the little things and see that they actually annoy me, so the feeling goes.  That's not to say that I still don't 'like' this person, or find her 'amazing'. I'm just masking it because I have to move on. It hurt a lot when she left me. I don't think I've ever felt so bad, and I've been struggling along ever since. Self-confidence isn't one of my strong points, and this knocked me.

So, much like Sophie, I haven't really come to any conclusion. I think it really depends on the situation and how much either person feels for the other, and the circumstance behind the end of the relationship. Love is an extremely powerful emotion and comes in many different forms but sometimes, it is hard to convert them into one another.

Go and check out Sophie's original blog.

Stay Strong
Michael