Paranoia or Paranormal?

We often think about and speak about things that go bump in the night, of creatures that live under our beds, of the monster that dwells in our cupboard and is hidden by our old, moth-eaten clothes, but do they really exist...?

Recently I've been hearing a noise in my room at night. It's a sort of scratching/tapping noise yet, whenever I go to investigate with my most heroic adventurer mentality, it stops.  At first I thought it might have been my brother on his laptop. This seemed like a feasible idea due to his keenness in computer gaming on his laptop but, alas, it was not him. I checked. I went up to his bed, but he was fast asleep and his laptop was on the desk next to his bed with the lid closed. There was no way that anything could have been tapping at his laptop. Then I thought, "Maybe it's something on my laptop?" Again, this was not the case.

The trouble was that I could not for the life of me pinpoint the location of the sound. By this time, it was freaking me out and getting me stressed. It was keeping me up at night and, more worryingly, there seemed to be a pattern... The noise would start at 1:30am every night.  This worried me highly. My mind rushed towards thinking of aliens and the paranormal... and those monsters I mentioned earlier. I briefly thought of mice, but I put that conclusion to bed after some daylight investigating showed no evidence of this.

The noise has stopped now. I haven't heard it for a couple of days, ever since I mentioned it to mum. This has lead me to think it was all in the mind. No one else heard it. I even put a recording device on to try and record it however, nothing showed up (admittedly this was the night after the last time I heard the noise).

A lot of our fears are in our minds, from spiders to the dark, from heights to snakes, from shoes to cheese... The human mind is powerful and is responsible for the creation of these monsters under the bed that we need to fight. I just hope my monster doesn't come and... AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I NEED A SCRIPT!

Just read the title. I need a script.

This isn't going to be one of my usual blog entries where I try and preach about the world and make ridiculous connections between stuff. This entry is more of a plea. I need something to do...

For a number of years now I have wanted to write a musical. Musicals are a huge passion of mine and I've always wanted to write one. Even before I started composing I wanted to write a musical. I love the idea that a story can be told in song form and that a standard stage play can convey more emotion and become more appealing to an audience through the use of music.

When I first thought about wanting to write a musical, I came up with a story line. From what I remember, it was a story about a young girl who was the daughter to a pirate captain. I had a vague idea for a story, and a couple of lyrical ideas, but no music. At this stage I had never written any music whatsoever so a musical was, of course, going to be a huge challenge with me having to write songs that are different and match the mood for that part of the story, as well as having certain themes repeated. It just wasn't going to happen.

Then, about a year ago, I had another idea. This time I also had a vague plot outline. The show was going to be based within a music theatre group (a bit High School Musical meets Glee) and include lots of inner feuds which would give me space to explore themes and melodies.  The difference this time was that I actually wrote some music. To this day I have two songs from this written; one being a love song between the two young leads ("I Think I'm In Love") and an angry feud song between the music director and the choreographer ("The Singing's More Important Than The Dancing"). My major problem was that I didn't having anything concrete to work on, or any time to work on it so, I scrapped the idea.

Now I find myself craving a project like this. I've spent ages researching how to go about this and I believe that I am musically reading to tackle a project like this. I just need the storyline. I'm no good with words and actually getting something written down, and the best way to go about this is to have a written script with all the written dialogue and then places marked out for possible songs.

So, here's the idea. Someone writes a script for me, or gives me a script that they've already written, so that I can turn it into a musical. I would be more than willing to work with you on the project, so that we can bounce ideas off and so you can stop me from potentially ruining your masterpiece. In return, I will of course credit you for the script (and storyline) and try and get this actually performed. I have contacts in local theatre companies who are always looking for new plays or musicals to put on.

I am willing to put in a lot of time and energy into such a project, I just need something to work with. If you are interested in helping me in any way, please leave a comment or something (or tweet me @winmusic28). Thank you

Stay Strong

Michael

Musicals, Socialising and Top Gs

"I wish life was like a musical"

That is a phrase that I have heard all too often, and have said myself on a number of occasions.  Musicals seem to offer us the an image of hope, that you can sing off any emotions and feelings. Wouldn't life be better if we eased our way through it accompanied by some Andrew Lloyd-Webber and Tim Rice, or Rodgers and Hammerstein? You've got a new friend who joins your little friendship group and suddenly your whole group and everyone around you breaks into "Consider Yourself" from Oliver, or you have some news to tell everyone so everyone starts singing "What's The Buzz?" from Jesus Christ Superstar.

There is a song for every occasion. They can range from "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" (Spamalot) to "Close Every Door To Me" (Joseph), all of which convey different emotions and, I believe, we can all relate to.

Unfortunately, life isn't as simple as a musical.  There is no script. Everyone is singing different words to different tunes and it's all very confusing.  Sometimes I just want to stand up in front of everyone and just belt out a load of top Gs (the highest I can really sing before things get bad) using angry sounding words and melodies.  Things like:

It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying
That a man like you can waste his time on women of her kind.
Yes, I can understand that she amuses,
But to let her stroke you, kiss your hair, that's hardly in your line.
It's not that I object to her profession,
But she doesn't fit in well with what you teach and say.
It doesn't help us if you're inconsistent.
hey only need a small excuse to put us all away.

Or even:

I don't know how to love him
I don't know why he moves me
He's a man
He's just a man
He's not a king
He's just the same
As anyone I know
He scares me so!
When he's cold and dead
Will he let me be?
Does he love me too?
Does he care for me?

People annoy me so much, especially people around my age.  I was at a Burns Night event last night (which is a Scottish thing filled with eating and dancing) and I really enjoyed it. There was no one there my age so I had no one to impress as such. Yes, it might have been nice if there were one or two people who were my age but I prefer the company of older people. They won't try and change you, or judge you for who you aren't. They'll be kind to you no matter what your creed, background or ideologies. We all think that the older generation are narrow minded and don't look at new things, but maybe it is us youngster who actually have the tunnel vision. That's the problem with the youth of today. They see what they want and will try and get it, no matter what. And that is why I occasionally want to go and have an angry vocal rant at them...

You sad pathetic man - see where you've brought us to
Our ideals die around us and all because of you
But the saddest cut of all -
Someone has to turn you in
Like a common criminal, like a wounded animal
A jaded mandarin
A jaded mandarin
Like a jaded, faded, faded, jaded, jaded mandarin

Stay Strong
Michael 

TURBO TANGO!

This, my friends, is the future.

Imagine your common spray deodorant, or hairspray, or squirty cream. Now, instead of the deodorant, hairspray or squirty cream, you have orange flavoured tango.  Turbo Tango is born.

Yes, it's a bizarre concept. I only came across it today when I was with a small group of friends, one of which decided to buy this drink.  After the usual mickey-taking and general joking around the product, myself and another friend decided we had to give it a try. £1.50 each later, we returned with our own Turbo Tangos.

It works using aerosol technology and the idea is that you squirt the drink into your mouth.  As expected with a group of teenage lads, this lead to an awful lot of innuendo which was helped an awful lot by the packaging around the bottle.  Such slogans such as "Squirt it into your gob (and nowhere else)" and "Warning! This could explode in your hand" cannot be taken lightly by teenage lads.

This really got me thinking about how everyone is trying something new, trying to break the mold and be different and unique. Imagine what the meeting must have been like when they were discussing this... quite barmy I would have thought.  And I wonder how long it'll take before other companies start using this idea, or coming up with other ideas.

The world's an amazing place, filled with amazing things and amazing people.  We all come up with ideas, some better than others.  If something as crazy as this can get on the shelves, then anything can. In my view, it's a bit of a gimmick designed for teenagers who can't be bothered to tilt their head as they drink but then again all inventions must have seemed gimmicky at the start.  Sliced bread was just cutting the slicing stage out for the consumer, the car just got you places without the need to walk, the calculator to work out equations faster. They all must have been considered gimmicks when they first were invented, and now look at them!!!

I guess I should rate this product out of 5... I give it 4/5.

Stay Strong
Michael

P.S. If anyone from tango have read this, yes I will accept a crate full of turbo tango as payment for this advertising.

My Name In Lights!!!

Okay. I'll admit it. This isn't actually real. I made it myself.

But I've been told that it's going to happen.  "If you don't make it, then there is no hope for the rest of us" is something that has been said to me.  I don't think of myself as hugely talented, but people seem to think that I am and I've had some amazing opportunities thrown my way.  Opportunities that have got me recognised. Before Christmas I was downtown in the amazing town that is Worthing, and as I was waiting for a lift from my regular taxi service (a.k.a. Dad) I got recognised on two separate occasions by people who I had no idea who they were. They didn't know my name as such but the recognised my face and had seen me do my act (which generally involves attacking pianos by jumping on them and stamping on them, and bizarre piano duets that have in the past involved swapping positions and sitting on shoulders/laps).

I have never gone out to seek credit for what I do. I hate the idea of getting rewards for doing something that I want to do and enjoy doing. I know that sounds weird. I shall phrase it differently. When I play at a gig or a concert, I want to go out there and give it my all. Each performance has to be better than the last. But I don't go in expecting something in return. That performance might be my last one. So when I finish a concert and people come up to me and give me praise, or I get personalised letters or emails saying how great the show was, or even the prospect of another concert, I get overwhelmed and pleased with myself.

I don't go out to advertise myself, or offer to do concerts. It's word of mouth that has helped me out so far. I really want to get out there and do more composing and performing. I absolutely love it. At some point, I might get my big break. I refuse to participate in things like the XFactor or Britain's Got Talent because I'm not a fan of the 'instant celebrity'.  I much more admire the people who have worked hard throughout their life's and deserve the attention and praise they get.  I will keep mentioning him and say that Tim Minchin is one of those guys. He spent years and years refining his act in Australia and decided that he would have a shot at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. After that, he finally got recognised and all that hard work paid off.

To me, every concert that I play has my name in lights. Whether it be a small pub gig, a college concert or a large concert in a local theatre, each one is as important as the rest. So, keep an eye out for me. Obviously I would love to be playing in packed out arenas in the future, but I would be equally as happy if I played at the local pub every Thursday night.  End of the day, I enjoy what I do and will keep doing it no matter what the circumstance.

Stay Strong
Michael

Eight Bars Of Beauty

I composed some music today. Well, I did some composing towards the end goal of composing the second of two compositions required for my A-level in music.  To many of you, it probably looks like complete nonsense. Just dots. To me, this is ten years of work.

When I say "ten years of work", I don't actually mean that this has taken me ten years. I should probably have said that my life has been building up to those bars. I started learning to play and read music ten years ago, and I say that I've been properly composing for over a year now. It's probably more like two or three years but I say a year because that is when I've really started to enjoy composing and do it for fun.

At the beginning, my compositions were a bit rubbish. I would stray away from complex rhythms and complex harmonies because I feared them and had no idea what I was doing.  Gradually, I have become more confident and I have experimented and these bars are the result.

I have a message here I think. Don't give up. Don't give up on what you enjoy doing.  Persistence is key.  Experiment. Break the rules.  Every great thing starts off small. Roald Dahl had to learn to hold his pen before he wrote his books. Pythagoras had to learn to count before he came up with his triangle theorem. Mozart had to... let's discount Mozart because anyone who can compose music at the age of five is destroying this well thought out point.

So what I'm trying to say is that a lot of work has gone into these eight bars of beauty, just like a lot of work went in the 'Theory of Relativity' and 'Hamlet'. Keep doing what you're doing and you'll learn new things and experience new experiences in order to write your own metaphorical bars of beauty (or literal if you are actually a composer yourself)

Stay Strong
Michael

N.B. I OWN ALL RIGHTS TO THAT MUSIC. ANY COPYING WITHOUT PERMISSION IS PROHIBITED 

Regret

We all regret. Ironically that is probably something that we regret; regretting that is.  We regret our mistakes, or missed opportunities.  I wrote a song about it (If Only I Had) but that is unimportant, except for the cheap and shameless plug.

Woody Allen once said that "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else". I agree with him (whilst trying not to sing Tim Minchin's "Woody Allen Jesus"). I regret not being someone else.  In my head there's this guy, an amazing guy, who I want to be. He lives a parallel life to me and faces the exact same decisions that I have to make . What makes him amazing is that he makes the right decisions and is successful in every way (he even decided to take Decision 1 maths instead of Mechanics 2 which is unsurprisingly a decision that I failed at making correctly). And I can see what his future looks like.  He's playing in front of packed out arenas with a full orchestra backing. He enters the arena from the ceiling. He's everything that I want to be.  Sometimes, I bridge the gap between us, or I outdo him. It's at those times that I am truly happy. Then there are moments when I fail to match him, and he stands there, laughing.

Thing is, we should be the person we want to be. In 'Matilda The Musical' the character Matilda sings that "Just because I find myself in this story, it doesn't mean that everything is written for me".  You can change your 'fate'. You can be that amazing person in your head.  We can't be perfect, but we can be close to it.

I fear that I might be filling this blog with a load of Tim Minchin quotes (this will probably be a continual trend) but I thought I'd leave you with the final verse from his song entitled "Not Perfect":

This is my brain
And I live in it
It’s made of love
And bad song lyrics
It’s tucked away behind my eyes
Where all my screwed up thoughts can hide
Cos God forbid I hurt somebody
And the weirdest thing about a mind
Is that every answer that you find
Is the basis of a brand new cliché
This is my brain
And it’s fine
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time
It’s not perfect
But it’s mine
It’s not perfect
I’m not quite sure I’ve worked out how to work it
It’s not perfect
But it’s mine 

Stay Strong

Michael

The Reward Card Conundrum

Some facts about me:

• I am crazy
• Little things really do annoy me like this...

I was at college today. Nothing unusual about that, although I wasn't supposed to be as I was supposed to be at an university interview in Hull... but snow happened.  I was thirsty so I went to buy myself a drink (I also bought jelly beans which I love but that is irrelevant to the story) but instead of going to the various vending machines, I had to go to the canteen because I had insufficient change. And that's where the problem began...

The canteen lady gave me this card, a reward card. Basically when you buy a drink from a selection of drinks, you get a stamp on said card. On handing the card over, the lady muttered something about getting the eighth drink free when you get seven stamps, an offer I found quite appealing considering the recent rise for drinks in college of ten pence. Glad of my successful purchases and the prospect of a free drink in the future I returned to my group of friends.

It is only then that I inspected the card further. According to the card, when you purchase your eighth drink you can enter your details, send the card off and get the "chance to win an iPod Touch or Xbox 360". Of course, like many teenagers, the thought of a free (minus the cost of eight drinks totaling a maximum of £8.80) iPod or Xbox seemed much more appealing than a free drink. Then questions formed in my head. Does this mean the college is not endorsing this reward card to its fullest? Do I get a stamp for my promised free eighth drink? If so, do I get entered in the draw for a iPod Touch or Xbox 360?

The whole episode confused me greatly. I found myself getting angry at the card. The friends I was with will vouch that I did rant for quite a while about this card.

The world has many problems; some major, some insignificant. I can safely say that the world will be a better place if reward cards like this were either banished or have the terms and conditions clarified by all parties to spare me, and others, this grief.

Stay Strong
Michael

Can you really be friends with your ex?

I am writing this because I find the topic fascinating.  My friend Sophie wrote about it in her blog and I thought I should have a go at answering this question.

In simple terms, yes and no. Yes, you can be friends with your ex, or an ex.  God forbid me talking about my relationships and all the trimmings that come with them, but I have become great friends with I person I once went out with. Admittedly the actual relationship didn't last very long, but I can now safely consider her as one of my closest friends; a person that I can easily confide in.

On the other hand, I personally am finding it hard to become friends with a person I recently dated. This relationship lasted much longer than the one that I just mention, a whole four months which I know isn't very long at all, but this is me we're talking about so any relationship that lasts past the first five minutes is a success.  It's harder because I find myself, a lot like Sophie in her blog, getting angry. 

I guess it's a tool I use, the anger, because I found myself being in love with this individual, like truly in love. I thought she was amazing. And it hurt an awful lot when she decided to end it. I still don't really agree with the reasoning, but I've learned to accept it. I have to.  I know it's wrong, but the anger helps to an extent. It makes me look at all the little things and see that they actually annoy me, so the feeling goes.  That's not to say that I still don't 'like' this person, or find her 'amazing'. I'm just masking it because I have to move on. It hurt a lot when she left me. I don't think I've ever felt so bad, and I've been struggling along ever since. Self-confidence isn't one of my strong points, and this knocked me.

So, much like Sophie, I haven't really come to any conclusion. I think it really depends on the situation and how much either person feels for the other, and the circumstance behind the end of the relationship. Love is an extremely powerful emotion and comes in many different forms but sometimes, it is hard to convert them into one another.

Go and check out Sophie's original blog.

Stay Strong
Michael

Beginnings and Hello

Well, hello there. This is a bit weird.

I suppose I'd ought to introduce myself, as is the custom when you meet new people. My name's Michael and I'm an 18 year old lad from Worthing which is a town on the Sussex coast. I am an extremely keen musician so I guess that if you don't like music or people talking about music then this really isn't the blog for you. The chances are, I'll probably talk about my music at some point throughout this process (?).

I'm not really sure why I've started this blog. I've always thought it to be a weird concept, blogging, but I think my life has lead me to doing this. I've had struggles and found myself having topics that I need to talk about yet having no one to talk to them about so, I started writing them down and it's lead to this...

I've always found that writing things down helps. It's much easier than talking to someone face-to-face. You can much more easily tell someone that you love them, or that you hate them, or that you find them to be morally wrong about something through the art of the written word than when you are talking to them in person. It takes away the human element. You don't have to gaze into their eyes. Eyes that can show pain, suffering, hurt... confusion (the latter happens a lot with me). And I can open up more to someone via the written word.  Words are extremely powerful.

Words also make people babble on a lot, and I guess that that is what I have done. This hasn't really been very insightful. I truly have no idea what I'm going to do blogging wise. Maybe once a week? I'll try and plan stuff to write about as my life is pretty dull. I try and introduce myself as some form of 'Rock Star' to liven it up... that doesn't work, especially when you play piano...

Anyway, I had best finish here or else I'll continue talking and who knows what'll happen then...

Stay Strong
Michael